PPD

I am an advocate for no medication, but medication and talk therapy were the only two things that saved my PPD.

You need to find another doctor! And reach out to a therapist

I would see if you can find a hormone specialist. Maybe your progesterone hasn’t bounced back. I was on meds for over a decade before I started hormones, now no meds and I’m mostly fine

Have you tried taking vitamin D or saphron. Those are both proven to help with mood and focus

Definitely get a therapist and know that you’re not crazy!

I know the feeling. I had PPA so bad after my 1st baby. Followed me into the 2nd pregnancy and postpartum too. I was able to switch to a different provider, she was. Certified Nurse Midwife and specialized in Perinatal Mood Disorders. She did my therapy sessions and also adjusted my prescriptions. I told her my goal was to get off of meds & just be in therapy. I felt crazy on some meds. Switching the right medication was helpful. I was able to get off completely about 6 months later and haven’t needed them since. I had 2 more babies after that and no PPA/PPD since. You can do it. You’re not crazy for advocating for yourself right now when things feel heavy.

I'm so sorry you're going through this! There are support groups on HeyPeers.com that might be helpful. I recommend Depression & Bipolar Support Alliance, and I think there are mom groups too. Most are free.

I struggled with PPD / PPA for 7 months before I found something that helped. Not sure if your provider has considered Zurzuvae but it saved my life, no joke.

Hi 👋 definitely try to find resources and mom friends during this time and getting out of the house with your lo as much as you can.
Maybe baby/toddler groups at a local library, small walks and going to a park. We have a planned parenthood type center in our town that offers parenting classes, I go, not because I need to learn how to parent, but I go for something to look forward to in the week that I can take my kid to where I can connect with other people/moms. I wish I had a bigger answer for you, but the little things do help 💚

I can tell you that suicidal thoughts with medications is a rare side effect. Especially depending on the type that you're taking. I personally am an advocate for medication after you've tried therapy and other interventions. Also it's helpful to keep in mind that no medication has to be permanent. You can ease yourself onto a medication and ease yourself off. It is 100% within your control. Best of luck to you, I hate that you're going through this and I specifically started a medication early after my postpartum to ensure that I avoided any PPD because of prior history.