My partner said this to me today

An ambush on unprotected sex?
A lot of hurtful things were said here.. 😕

This sounds like he's openly communicating his feelings and needs with you, in a healthy way. Did you both agree to have a baby? Did you tell him that you couldn't get pregnant? There's a lot of one-sided info here that we don't know- but from just what is written here, it sounds like he's trying to communicate responsibly with you.

Sounds like he wasnt ready? Did you tell him you couldnt get pregnant? If so thats a pretty shitty thing to do ...

Sorry for your loss but i think what he saids completely reasonable if you did lead him in a direction that he thought you couldnt get pregnant when you knew you could thats just manipulation

I just want to offer a little perspective as someone who lost a baby in December 2023. ❤️ Pregnancy after loss can be absolutely terrifying. As mothers, we carry so much fear and anxiety into another pregnancy because we know the heartbreak of losing a baby we already loved so deeply.
But sometimes, in the middle of our own grief and fear, we forget that dads lost that baby, too. Their grief may look different from ours, and sometimes their fears come out as worrying about stability, finances, careers, and whether they’re ready to go through it all again.
My partner struggled to bond with our rainbow baby after our loss, and things were very, very rough for us afterward. We now have three beautiful little girls and one little angel in heaven, but getting through everything after our loss was not easy.
I completely understand wanting stability, a career, a house, and a plan for your future. Those things matter, and your feelings are valid.

But I would encourage you to give him a little grace, too. ❤️ Sometimes, after experiencing such a heartbreaking loss, the thought of another baby can bring up a lot of fear, even when that baby is wanted and loved.
I’m not saying your feelings aren’t valid, because they absolutely are. I just think sometimes we forget that dads are grieving, too, and they can be scared about bringing another baby into the world after knowing what it feels like to lose one.
Try to remember that you’re both navigating this in your own ways. Give each other room to be scared, to talk openly, and to work toward a plan together. You deserve support and understanding, but so does he. You’re on the same team, and sometimes you need to give each other a little extra grace when you’re both carrying pain from the same loss. ❤️

For the woman struggling to understand. When you suffer a loss, the death of a child, nothing makes you more ready for this.
My husband and I lost what was supposed to be our first child last year and the level of suffering you go through is unbearable. You get hit from all angles. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. You literally go through such pain physically when you miscarry and bleed like crazy.
After this, if you weren’t confident before, you’re confident now that you want to be a parent. My husband suffered with me during this loss so I can’t understand how finances could even be brought into the picture after he went through this with her. I know the practical sense of being financially ready. That can be fixed in 9 months. But the fact her body endured a miscarriage, and finances are going to go above the blessing in her body? Miss me with that.

I think a loss will always feel different between women and men. I understand both of your intentions. And i truly understand where he is coming from too. I was ready for 5 years to have a child. I was crying at every baby i was seeing. But i waited to do everything at the right time. Uni, house, job, marriage (not necessarily in this order), then a baby. And jt was the same for my husband too. We were both on track, with the same plan, and we got ready together. And when i got pregnant i was so incredibly excited. He kept telling me to tone it down because not everyone successfully gets pregnant the 1st time, and getting pregnant doesn't necessarily mean it will hold. But i couldn't hold my excitement. So if I were to lose it, of course it was going to affect me more than him. He didn't truly feel much for the baby until he was actually here.
I think you were just missing communication. He's been telling you how he feels. You shouldn't judge him for it. Just talk to him and meet eachother halfway 💖

I think he's trying to communicate his anxieties/needs with you. Grief can manifest in many ways and he may be extra anxious feeling that he's not in a place to provide enough to feel stable.

I've had 3 losses, 2 in the first trimester and 1 late second trimester. I understand that it's sometimes hard to hear anything but excitement, but it doesn't appear that he was trying to be hurtful. Your feelings are valid, but so are his and it would be wrong to dismiss his feelings just because they don't match yours/what you expect.

Unfortunately he is going through a tricky divorce he’s now panicking over too as court dates come closer but we should theoretically have a baby in our arms rn so all his issues are strange now were should be having gentle hope for this rainbow baby except he’s back peddling.