At a loss
I'm completely at a loss with my three-year-old boy's behaviour.
He was never an "easy" baby or toddler and I've spent most of the last 3 years hopeful that things will start to "get better". In the last few months though I've really lost this sense of hope and preserverance.
At the moment I'm a stay-at-home mum, and from the moment he wakes up in the morning it's tantrum after tantrum. Sometimes even a tantrum before he's gotten out of his bed. I could probably cope with this if it wasn't for his senseless defiance.
No matter what, he refuses to cooperate in the process of getting ready for any activity. If we're going out somewhere - playground/park/playgroup etc - he will never willingly get ready, it's always a battle. Refuses to use the toilet before going out. I'm exhausted from the battle and persuasion before we even manage to leave the house.
What makes it worse is that we have very very little support from wider family, so I don't ever get much of a break from this. He's developed a strong aversion to his dad, so even when his dad is off work, I end up doing everything because if his dad tries it ends up in huge tantrums. This could be something as small as passing him his drink from the counter - it has to be me. We've tried just pushing through this and insisting his dad does stuff for him, but it's difficult because we have limited time because of his dad's work and it's such a shame to spend it with endless tantrums.
I feel like a shell of my formed self. I've definitely developed some sort of low-key anxiety/depression over the last 3 years. My diet is terrible now and I used to be someone who was fit and health conscious. I've started biting my nails compulsively - something I haven't done since I was a teenager and I'm now 33.
I realise this is a long read but if anyone has any advice it would be really appreciated.
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Leave him with dad for a few hours when he is off work. Go and get your hair done, have a quiet coffee and cake alone, or anything you think you'd feel refreshed by.
He has got to learn that dad has to look after him too, and the poly way to ensure that is to remove yourself from the situation sometimes.
Otherwise, a lot of the behaviour sounds very normal, but some of us just have less support and so coping with it can be more difficult xxx
My 3 year old is similar when trying to get ready and honestly I just have to be very firm with boundaries! ‘We are not going down stairs for breakfast until you have done a wee and gotten dressed’ and I try to enforce this now.
She was similar with her dad until earlier this year too and we just had to be consistent and if it was dads turn it didn’t matter how hard she cried we didn’t budge. Last summer we started alternating bedtimes and it took months where she would cry when it was his turn. I also noticed when he had a few weeks off around Christmas and she saw him more she was more willing to accept him
My 3 year old is exactly the same, I was literally just sitting here thinking how is it only half 4 I can’t cope another few hours 😭 I’m back at work as a nurse after mat leave with my 2nd and have absolutely no help from anyone, partners never here either, they just go nursery the 3 days a week that I work and I’m struggling a lot.
Gained lots of weight, on antidepressants, don’t even recognise myself tbh have 0 confidence. I don’t have any advice but you’re not alone xx
I’ve seen the above comment and my little boy doesn’t react to boundaries/ consequences either just doesn’t care at all about anything his reaction is more of a teenagers than a 3 year olds 🙈
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At a loss
I'm completely at a loss with my three-year-old boy's behaviour.
He was never an "easy" baby or toddler and I've spent most of the last 3 years hopeful that things will start to "get better". In the last few months though I've really lost this sense of hope and preserverance.
At the moment I'm a stay-at-home mum, and from the moment he wakes up in the morning it's tantrum after tantrum. Sometimes even a tantrum before he's gotten out of his bed. I could probably cope with this if it wasn't for his senseless defiance.
No matter what, he refuses to cooperate in the process of getting ready for any activity. If we're going out somewhere - playground/park/playgroup etc - he will never willingly get ready, it's always a battle. Refuses to use the toilet before going out. I'm exhausted from the battle and persuasion before we even manage to leave the house.
What makes it worse is that we have very very little support from wider family, so I don't ever get much of a break from this. He's developed a strong aversion to his dad, so even when his dad is off work, I end up doing everything because if his dad tries it ends up in huge tantrums. This could be something as small as passing him his drink from the counter - it has to be me. We've tried just pushing through this and insisting his dad does stuff for him, but it's difficult because we have limited time because of his dad's work and it's such a shame to spend it with endless tantrums.
I feel like a shell of my formed self. I've definitely developed some sort of low-key anxiety/depression over the last 3 years. My diet is terrible now and I used to be someone who was fit and health conscious. I've started biting my nails compulsively - something I haven't done since I was a teenager and I'm now 33.
I realise this is a long read but if anyone has any advice it would be really appreciated.
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