Guilt tripped
My husband guilt trips me
For anything that I do if I do not do it with my 19 month old son. My family has a business and I am part of it so that means sometimes I have to work Saturdays yet take a day off the week. Mind you I can also take off anytime if my sons needs me or I need to attend to him. Working on a Saturday to him is “abandoning” both him and my son. This is a constant situation. I am so tired of listening to it and why I never really take time for “ME”
Any advice?
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Oh girl I get you. I want to get my hair done and my oartner was like "oh, ill come with you with the little one"... no, I want a few hours where im ME and not mam. Ive tried explaining to him that he gets away from being dad when he goes to work yet I have the little one all day and night x
Stop letting him guilt trip you.
Tell him you didn't know you were marrying a toddler that needs mommy around to do everything. That you thought he was a provider who wants his woman to feel "like a woman", like someone who is to be cherished, not a bum who doesn't get basic womanly maintenance.
My Advice is to ignore his crap and don’t LET him guilt trip you, what he says let out go out one ear and out the other, stand your ground. If you have a gfs bday- go. If you wanna get a massage or go to an event or go tanning on the beach or go to work- go. If I’ve made plans w friends nothing he can say can guilt me into not going I mean I have people waiting for me to turn up, depending on me. He’s the father too, he should be fully competent looking after his child by himself. Offense is given but it also has to be received on the other end, same as guilt. He’s trying to make you feel guilty, the solution is to not let that get to you. “I need this. I deserve this. I need time to be myself too” keep repeating that when he’s trying to make you feel guilty, grab your keys and go. The more you stand your ground the less he’ll make you feel guilty because he’ll realise it’s not working anyway but if he sees that you feel guilty then he sees that he’s won. Don’t let him win.
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Are you prepping for power cuts or whatever else the gov are referring to? ?
At first I was unbothered, after hearing and seeing others prepping though I’ve started to just buy a little extra with our weekly shop. Our local supermarkets have been absolutely packed apprently! I’ve not seen as I order online most of the time.
I’ve done Nothing crazy and just some extra waters and long life milk so far.
Then a wind up radio and some solar lights from Tik tok 😂
I’ve decided make one of the kitchen cupboards into a little emergency supply cupboard.
What have you done?
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Eating out
Does anyone actually manage to eat out with their just turned 2 year old? We went out at lunchtime today for my mums birthday and it was chaos from the minute we got there. In the end we ate, and then left. We took toys with us, colouring etc but she just wants to run around, which I know is normal but it just makes family things so difficult.
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Neighbor told my man I was cheating
Okay, moms, I need some opinions because I feel like I’m in such an awkward situation.
I’m a SAHM and we live in an apartment complex. Yesterday, I was hanging out with one of my guy friends (who happens to be gay, although he’s definitely more masculine-presenting). He does come over fairly often, but he’s in school and has a pretty unconventional schedule. On top of that, my boyfriend is currently injured and has doctor’s orders not to lift anything over 5 lbs, so my friend has been helping me out with heavier things around the apartment.
Apparently, yesterday my neighbor saw us together and later told my boyfriend when he got home from work that while he’s gone, I have a man coming over. The way she brought it up definitely insinuated that I was having another man over behind his back.
My boyfriend knows exactly who she’s talking about and explained that he’s one of my friends, so there’s absolutely nothing going on. But honestly, the whole situation has made me feel incredibly uncomfortable. It’s one thing to make assumptions about my relationship, but it’s another thing to feel like I’m being watched and that someone is keeping track of who comes to my apartment and when. I didn’t realize having a friend over would become neighborhood gossip.
Now I feel awkward even thinking about running into this neighbor because I don’t know whether to act like nothing happened or address it. I don’t want drama with my neighbors, but I also don’t like feeling like I have to watch my every move in my own home because someone might be observing and interpreting it however they want.
Am I crazy for feeling weird about this?? I do had really bad PPA so I know that’s making it worse but maybe I’m overthinking it
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I feel like running away
We have a 4y old boy, he started prek and I started doing uber, DoorDash, instacart to make some extra money. About 2 months ago I mentioned to my partner how I would love to take a day off for myself like I’ve seen other moms post about it, they book a hotel room and enjoy their peace for a day. I mentioned it to my partner and he said “Why a hotel? You can do that here at home?”. I tried to explain to him how I would like to have a day to go to bed without tucking anyone in and wake up not having to hear mom the moment I wake up, wake up without worrying about house chores, not worry about what’s gonna be for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I just want a day off of everything. He said that the hotel room idea is bs blah blah blah. I never said anything again!
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At a loss
I'm completely at a loss with my three-year-old boy's behaviour.
He was never an "easy" baby or toddler and I've spent most of the last 3 years hopeful that things will start to "get better". In the last few months though I've really lost this sense of hope and preserverance.
At the moment I'm a stay-at-home mum, and from the moment he wakes up in the morning it's tantrum after tantrum. Sometimes even a tantrum before he's gotten out of his bed. I could probably cope with this if it wasn't for his senseless defiance.
No matter what, he refuses to cooperate in the process of getting ready for any activity. If we're going out somewhere - playground/park/playgroup etc - he will never willingly get ready, it's always a battle. Refuses to use the toilet before going out. I'm exhausted from the battle and persuasion before we even manage to leave the house.
What makes it worse is that we have very very little support from wider family, so I don't ever get much of a break from this. He's developed a strong aversion to his dad, so even when his dad is off work, I end up doing everything because if his dad tries it ends up in huge tantrums. This could be something as small as passing him his drink from the counter - it has to be me. We've tried just pushing through this and insisting his dad does stuff for him, but it's difficult because we have limited time because of his dad's work and it's such a shame to spend it with endless tantrums.
I feel like a shell of my formed self. I've definitely developed some sort of low-key anxiety/depression over the last 3 years. My diet is terrible now and I used to be someone who was fit and health conscious. I've started biting my nails compulsively - something I haven't done since I was a teenager and I'm now 33.
I realise this is a long read but if anyone has any advice it would be really appreciated.
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Bd is mad over Halloween..
So about 2+ weeks ago I confirmed if it would be okay to go tricking or treating with my mom and younger siblings on the 31st and we do some trunk or treating at a few churches he agreed and said that will work since he has work early and didn’t want to be out late (originally was supposed to do 2 over the last 2 weekends he flaked on the first one when we were literally loaded in the car) and last night he texted me how wrong this is he’s spending Halloween alone and then said he thought Halloween was the night we went trunk or treat on the 30th… then came to my house all pissed off at 1:30am woke me up but hitting me in the face with a pillow then woke up our 3 and 4 yr old from yelling eventually all 3 kids were crying (my bedroom window was unlocked) and I’m trying to figure out am I really wrong here, he said I take no consideration for his feelings and health…. We both agreed that would be fun and when it’s time he’s mad also mentioned how I was wearing makeup too…like yeah I’m not gonna looked like a tried mom when mostly everyone is dressed up (soo many adults were in costume made me happy) we had such a good night and he just always hates when I have fun honestly or a good time without him I think. We have never done trick or treating before when we were together and now it’s a problem… my oldest is special needs trunk or treat was a bit ruff he did not have fun tbh but his dad doesn’t make it enjoyable either it’s night and day how my kids act around mom and nana vs dad and it hurts but he’s not nice and then expect me to say sorry for going with my mom and brothers for the first time in 8 years…. I actually consider getting back with him these past few months because I thought he actually changed but his true colors always return leaving me feeling guilty
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