Am I asking too much?

The everlasting fight with 90% of relationships 😭
NO. You are NOT asking for too much.

Scientifically speaking, women are much better at multitasking than men. That being said, it is still Very frustrating when men can't/won't help more. I also understand how very difficult it is to do things around the house with a toddler - constantly trying to balance getting things done vs spending quality time with them. What we do is involve the toddler in tasks they can help with. Keep in mind it might not be up to your standards if a toddler is helping, and will take longer to do, but at least it's getting done. My toddler helps up vacuum (with noise-reducing headphones), dry swiffer, sweep, unload the dishwasher (I pull the knives/sharp things out 1st), put laundry into wash/dryer. He enjoys cleaning as we've turned it into time we're doing something together. Sometimes he wants to push the vacuum/swiffer/broom/duster himself, and sometimes we hold him in one arm while doing the cleaning with our other. Sometimes we only get half a room done at a time, but over time we get everything.

I can’t relate to my husband not working, as he does, and he does clean up but I always then go and clean up behind me as there is always clutter still or recycling on the side. I do all the washing and putting away clothes, changing bedding, but I have also accepted that as he puts whites and darks in together and the bed never looks right. I agree that men don’t do the stuff round the house like we would, but us women all know that men take a lot longer to grow up then us women. When my husband is with the kids without me or I need to do other stuff without being interrupted I give him jobs like ‘can you fix this’ ‘can you do that’ and he will ALWAYS do it and the kids love helping him. It would be FAB if they did housework but not all men are capable, doesn’t stop them from doing other stuff we need to get done.

Ps. I am NOT on the man’s side, I just came to the realisation that I had to stop asking him to do laundry etc that was never ‘right’.

I understand not getting much of everything done when you’re home w/young children, my hubs & I both really prioritize spending time w/kids over having our house the exact way we’d prefer it. Our situation is backwards, I became disabled & didn’t work anymore, I’ll take care of the basics while home w/the kids, but my main job now is more of a teacher, so keeping toys/rooms straightened after projects or play & I do only laundry that needs put on the line outside, when hubs is off work we kinda go out of work mode & back into regular parent/adult mode together, that’s when we take care of the rest of the chores & our kids help or “help”, my hubs covers everything while I cook, bc I enjoy cooking so he gives me 1-2hrs of mostly alone time in the kitchen. What I don’t do is make my hubs go into parenting or household mode while he’s on the clock, bc that’s totally unreasonable when I’m a whole person & can take care of things w/o him & yes if we swapped places it would be the same.

No your not but your also not letting him see his mistakes. If he home he needs to clean up. If your working at home your job isn’t to do chores it’s to work and watch your two year old. You want to keep your house clean so you pick up but that just tells your husband that your going to clean so why should he even try to help. Pace yourself when you work from home . You had to much work to do at work while you worked at home to do chores. You will fight but do you want to be the only one cleaning or want him to realize he needs to help to. Your going to burn out so try not to even though I feel it’s in all of us to keep our house clean and pick up after our spouse.
My husband helps me with everything now but he honestly admitted he can’t be a SAHD because he can’t handle the chores alone🤣 like I did . I worked part time studied full time and managed the house and he was unable to . It showed him it’s not a one person job