are my feelings valid ? šµāš«
hey me and my bd was together for 2 1/2 hrs before we had our son who is currently 3months going on 4 months. when i was pregnant he showed so much love and was happy etc. as so i though he was until i was 8months pregnant he decided he no longer wanted to be together anymore. ofc i felt sad but we was still living together and he was telling me he wasnāt emotionally available and feel like he need to just focus on his self and get his self together before the baby comes and work on his self not only for him but for us as a family. at this time he wasnāt really hanging out with friends cuz he was working 10/12hrs shifts 5days a week and he said he felt like he havenāt been able to do anything and felt alone and wanted to make friends ( male and female ) and have fun while he still can before he finishes truck school and have to hit the road. ( heās 21 , im 24 )
while broken up he was telling me he still loves me and want to marry me and how he already brought a ring and not worry and the female friends he made or strictly just friends and they only hang out in group settings ā¦. atp iām 9months pregnant .. mind you we still live together, cuddle every night , still do everything normally and he still kisses me tells me he loves me and even had sex. but i had a suspicion that he was lying about the female friends. i just couldnāt shake it, he logged me out his instagram the day after we broke up but his password was still the same so i logged in and found hella females he was talking to and planning dates with and hanging out with. i even texted one of the girls and found out they did sexual things together and even found out he had sex with another girl ā¦ i felt so hurt and betrayed ā¦ are my feelings valid ? for feeling so hurt and crying broken hearted ? even though we wasnāt together at the time ? ā¦ now he wants to work back together towards a relationship and marriage? but am i wrong for holding onto what he did , even though he wasnāt together???? š
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I'm so sorry. I wouldn't trust him, seems like all words to me. I think you need to leave. It's going to be real tough but it sounds like all lies and he basically split up with you to do what he wants with other girls. He basically acted like you were still together even when you split so he just used that as an excuse so it wouldn't be 'cheating'. How would you trust him again? The fact he messaged loads of girls, sounds desperate too. He has 0 respect for you. A man who loves and wants to marry you wouldn't even speak to another girl let alone lay his hands on her.
Think of the kinda man you want and then compare it to how hes acting. Do they line up? If not then move on. Sounds like he wants the best of both worlds - a family AND being single and sleeping around. You can't have both. And you deserve a man who knows what he wants and knows that its you. Your feelings are valid and if I were you, I'd leave his ass.
No you are not wrong for having those feelings because at the end of the day you are carrying his child/ his seed and thereās seems to be mix signals- as you were were broken up but still doing relationship things with each other. He told he wanted to time to āfocus on his selfā to better his family but was entertaining other women and being available to them!! So that right there is a bit contradictory on his end because what inner work was it actually doing to be better for the family.
If you are already feeling these things before marriage- marriage will not simply resolve another but just bring out whatās already unstable. He has to figure what he truly wants with you and you have to not look at the potential of this but the reality of the kind of man he is currently showing now. Truly look at his patterns now and assess what kind of actual healijg and work it is doing to change those patterns/habits.
Set boundaries for yourself as well
Yeah, i'm sorry, girl. You need to get rid of his a**. The moment he told you, he wanted to break up. Was the moment you should have realized that he was talking to other girl also and he'll do it again, don't let him trick you into thinking that you guys have something, because you DON'T, he's done with you!! HE'S LYING TO YOU! HE'S JUST USING YOU. For a place to stay until he finds a New Girl. All men are dogs AND YOU WERE TOGETHER because all that time he stayed and he led you on and made you think that you were special. That you were loved and meanwhile, he was in the background. F****** other b******. That man does not love you. Get rid of him, please!!
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are my feelings valid ? šµāš«
hey me and my bd was together for 2 1/2 hrs before we had our son who is currently 3months going on 4 months. when i was pregnant he showed so much love and was happy etc. as so i though he was until i was 8months pregnant he decided he no longer wanted to be together anymore. ofc i felt sad but we was still living together and he was telling me he wasnāt emotionally available and feel like he need to just focus on his self and get his self together before the baby comes and work on his self not only for him but for us as a family. at this time he wasnāt really hanging out with friends cuz he was working 10/12hrs shifts 5days a week and he said he felt like he havenāt been able to do anything and felt alone and wanted to make friends ( male and female ) and have fun while he still can before he finishes truck school and have to hit the road. ( heās 21 , im 24 )
while broken up he was telling me he still loves me and want to marry me and how he already brought a ring and not worry and the female friends he made or strictly just friends and they only hang out in group settings ā¦. atp iām 9months pregnant .. mind you we still live together, cuddle every night , still do everything normally and he still kisses me tells me he loves me and even had sex. but i had a suspicion that he was lying about the female friends. i just couldnāt shake it, he logged me out his instagram the day after we broke up but his password was still the same so i logged in and found hella females he was talking to and planning dates with and hanging out with. i even texted one of the girls and found out they did sexual things together and even found out he had sex with another girl ā¦ i felt so hurt and betrayed ā¦ are my feelings valid ? for feeling so hurt and crying broken hearted ? even though we wasnāt together at the time ? ā¦ now he wants to work back together towards a relationship and marriage? but am i wrong for holding onto what he did , even though he wasnāt together???? š
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