Dating with herpes (please don't judge)

I know a girl who dated openly and had genital herpes and she was never judged and met with so much respect and most people are okay as long as you’re upfront and inform them. Do it on your own timing when your comfortable and when you know it’s gonna turn into something.

I have friends who are herpes positive and have met lifelong partners had kids etc. I promise this stigma is in your head. Any boy (and I say boy because they are not men) that try and make you feel crap for it are those you don’t want to be with anyway, it’s immature. Please do not let this keep you in a relationship that you’re not happy in. There are so many good men out there that will love and treat you the full value that you are. The herpes will not make a difference to the one you are supposed to be with

I know multiple people with herpes and a guy with HIV and they’re all open about it and far as I know they all have healthy dating lives.

Maybe you shouldn’t date, maybe take some time for yourself and learn yourself and love yourself more.

You have nothing to be embarrassed about. It is really strange how stigmatised this is as this is a really common virus! It affects more than 60% of the population (type 1) and 13% for type 2. Lots of people have it and don't even know it.
In dating it's like having the flu - you would not snog someone if you had the flu, you would tell them you're ill and you'd have to wait until you were clear of symptoms. It is exactly the same with herpes: it is only contagious in the active stage in which case you would say to the person you're with "hey by the way, this week we cannot be intimate as I am having a flare up". Just simply like that. If the person is a mature decent person that actually likes you, then they shouldn't have any problem with this 😊

I think depends on how comfortable you are or they make you feel. Some people you feel comfortable to tell straight away, some you need to wait and see how you feel about them and trust them a little more to tell them. Some you may never feel comfortable to tell them and that’s how you know it won’t work.

There are dating apps designed for people with herpes. Those exist

I have HSV-1. For me, it's only oral herpes. I've been getting coldsores since I was maybe 4 or 5 years old. So technically, I've had herpes my entire dating life. I always tell people right away because I understand how stressful it can be and the social stigma it holds. Also, it's a lot easier to move on if you let them know early before real feelings are involved.

When I met my husband, I had a break out pretty early into us getting to know each other, so I told him right away, and he was so supportive and sweet! Of course, there are going to be some people who will want to end things, I wouldn't take it personally. You'll find someone who loves and accepts all of you! ❤️

**Edit: I personally tell people very early because I have oral herpes. Which means it can be transmitted through kissing, sharing drinks, etc. Also, once you have an outbreak, you can't really hide it since it's on your face. If I had genital herpes, I wouldn't tell them right away, but before we have sex (including oral sex).

So apparently 70% of sexually active people have it…and that’s who we know get tested, many people have it and don’t know. I also got it from my partner, I rarely notice it, every once in a while I’m sore to the touch but other than that I haven’t experienced anything else.

I wouldn’t stress it. I also wouldn’t lead with it, I’d let them know when you are getting closer to intimacy. It’s also only contagious if you have unprotected sex during a breakout.

Herpes is such a common STI! The decision for when to tell a partner is up to you, but I agree with some people above that maybe you need to be single for a bit to learn to live yourself again and give yourself grace for something you had no control over. In the meantime, here's a link to a podcast that does a great job discussing the topic and how it's not that big of a deal to disclose.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2yW99dX6KI3GMQ4Hr3fTzm?si=0HQ4GNejQnevc8WO3v6VeQ

I was misdiagnosed with herpes at 18 years old, I'd only been with one person. I felt like my life was over when we split up.
However I met someone else and told him everything, he was so understanding and said he didn't care he loved me anyways, a year later I had a "flare" and went to see a different Dr, one who was specialised in skin. He told me I definitely didn't have herpes and it was something called Folicilitis, an infection in hair follicles due to shaving.
I've told each of my partners since then (2 other people) and they've been very understanding and have said they don't mind either way.
The stigma is alot less than you think, and more people then you know have it and don't even realise.
A man who knows your worth, won't even think twice about it.
If you're unhappy, leave. You only have one life and you deserve all the happiness in the universe ✨️ xxx

Unless you have a break out it is nothing to worry about! Like 25% of adults have it anyway. Just relax and have fun. No big deal 🙂🙂

whether you have an outbreak or not it’s still important to disclose before sex… 😊

Hey ladies, I don't come on here very much so have only just had a chance to read all your comments.... thank you soooo much, you've all made me feel so much better and I've cried reading through them!! Thank you for taking the time to comment, I really appreciate it 🤍