SIL drama

It baffles me that “adults” still act like this. I would’ve felt honored it was announced on a celebration weekend because it IS something to celebrate and took a shot for ya💗 congrats on your baby.

Kind of with your sister in law on this. Family travelled to them for the celebration of their kids 1st birthday and although it wasn’t the day of the birthday, everyone was there to celebrate their child. It wasn’t the time to announce your pregnancy. It could have waited. Like someone else has said. How would you feel if it was the other way around.

As far as I'm concerned (even with my own self and my own child), all you get is your birthDAY. If there's a party that takes place on a different day,, you obviously get that, too ..but that's it. I don't play the whole "birthMONTH" or "birthWEEK" game. Everyone else's life shouldn't be expected to cease just because you survived for another year.

I honestly would have understood if it did steal all the attention as well btw, but it was literally the announcement, everyone was happy, congratulating my husband and then that was it, it wasn't even mentioned again, even before they were told they couldn't talk about it. I would have 100% understood more if that took over the whole weekend but it REALLY didn't.

we didn't ruin anything for her at all, my husband announced the news, everyone (but her) was happy, and that was it, it was never mentioned again, so it "stole attention" for maybe 5 mins. I honestly wouldn't have minded if it completely took the shine off the birthday but it didn't one bit. And it wasn't announced on her actual birthday, or at the party. It was 2 days before her birthday.

if we had waited, it would have been months before we saw them again so then they probably would have been annoyed that we didn't tell them sooner/everyone else knew 🙄 or there would have been another reason she would have been unhappy about it. If it was the other way around I would have genuinely been super happy for them, and it would have added to the celebrations, not taken anything away from it. Not even saying she wasn't entitled to be a bit upset, but the way she went about it was very unnecessary.

Idk regardless of if it was a little show stealing for a minute, her kid still got a party and was the center of attention and I’m sure the 1 y o didnt feel slighted in the least. But how petty of her to make the announcement of your pregnancy a bad memory for you. Her reaction no doubt made her kids birthday a shittier memory too because everyone was so tense and awkward and then your hubby left early as a result of her behavior. Like, her reaction sounds like it stole the show of the weekend a whole lot more than your announcement. My sister did some thing similar when my husband and I got engaged and honestly I feel like she robbed me of an important moment in my life and she didn’t even gain anything for herself in the process.

Announcing your pregnancy to all the family when everyone has travel to celebrate someone else kid is selfish and so inappropriate. I’m 1000% with your SIL on this.
Considering you weren’t even there you have no idea how long the congratulations and conversations were going on surrounding your news so to say it was 5 mins then never mentioned again is ridiculous. The fact SIL and BIL had to ask your FIL to stop bringing up the subject suggests there is a lot more to it.
You and your husband are AH and should apologise to your SIL. It’s not every day your LO turns one and you have spoilt the memory for them.

I have to agree that it wasn't the time or place to announce such big news. I would be absolutely livid if someone who I had invited to celebrate my child's first birthday, announced they were pregnant at the same time. To me its just as bad as getting engaged at someone else's wedding! I'm quite sure if the shoe was on the other foot you would be really quite mad aswell!?

it wasn't on the birthday, or at the party. It was 2 days before the birthday. Unless it was announced at my child's actual birthday party, no I wouldn't be mad, I genuinely would be really happy for them. As I've said in other comments, it was announced, congratulated and then everyone moved on, it literally took 5 minutes of attention away on a day that wasn't even the birthday or party haha. I would have 100% understood more if it took the shine off the birthday but it didn't at all.

I was told by several people there that it was announced, congratulated, and then it wasn't mentioned again - that's literally what happened. They didn't tell them to stop talking about it (because no one was talking about it), they were told they weren't allowed to talk about it. It wasn't done on the child's birthday, or at the party, it was a completely different day. We didn't spoil a memory at all because our news took no attention away from the child or the birthday. You don't get to control everything because your child has a birthday in 2 days, that's ridiculous and extremely childish. Everyone around us, who knows her, has agreed that it was ridiculous to go about things the way she did - remember that you don't have someone's full story!

I don’t really agree with a lot of the comments. Like you said it was probably the only time the whole family got together, for him to tell them together. If it was announced at the actual party then yeah I get it. I would’ve waited until after the party. But I really don’t understand why can’t people be celebrated and at the same time be happy for someone else. Why does one thing have to take away from the other? It comes across as very egocentric to me to have to make the weekend all about the birthday party. On my first Mother’s Day my baby was 8 weeks old and we hosted all my husbands family , my husband’s brother and partner announced their pregnancy and not for a second did I feel annoyed by that even though it was my first Mother’s Day and at a get together I had planned. It didn’t take away from my joy and a mother or make my Mother’s Day less because they were also celebrated. I feel that your SIL is probably a bit jealous. There is a bit of sadness when your baby turns one

it was exactly that, if he hadn't have told them then, it would have been months before we see them again. He also had to explain why I wasn't there 🙈
I think people get far too precious about things, we would never ever have done it at the party or on her actual birthday. I just feel like we've been made to feel like we've done something really horrendous for trying to tell our family we're having a baby. I would have understood her upset and would have apologised if it took away from anything but it really didn't 😞

When my SIL was here celebrating her babys 1 year bday, it was our only time to share the news in person. So we had her, her hubby, and the baby over for dinner the night before the party(only time we had) and let them know the situation. We made sure to ask if if was okay to tell MIL+FIL before the party the next day, keeping in mind we wouldnt bring it up or let it interfere with the party at all.

She was super sweet about it and appreciated us talking to them first and asking. And realistically, if she'd asked us to wait, we definitely would have tried to find another chance.

I honestly don't get it either, it was 2 days before her birthday, so I really can't get my head around people's opinions here. I feel like we've done something terrible now. I honestly believe that she wouldn't have been happy for us regardless of when we told them, because I don't think it's just about the birthday thing.

it was the same with us, it was the only real time we would have been able to tell them in person. We told them all together 2 days before the birthday and would never have done it on the day of the actual party so I don't think it warranted asking them in our situation.

I don’t think it’s a problem at all, family is family and these moments should be exciting whatever. My mum asked me if I’m going to tell any family at a wedding we are attending on Thursday and the likelihood is no, because it’s their wedding DAY, but if we were there either side of the wedding day then probably as we only see this family a couple of times a year. It’s a kids birthday. The child won’t even remember, and if the day is about the child and their enjoyment, as it should be, why would there be any drama. Too many egos in bringing up babies.