Housework

My MIL has in the past made multiple comments over the past 5 years to me and my mum about her doing my washing cleaning etc, she doesn’t in fact I lived (by choice) with my dad from 15-19 where I did all my own washing cleaning etc. My mum doesn’t run around after me at all I was brought up with the moral of you make the mess you clean it up. My partner and I share all household chores their are never any arguments over it or anything, but I do the majority of the baby duties as I’m BF and I’m off on maternity.

Anyway my partner went away for a week and I stayed at my mums with baby. MIL came round when he was back and said oh I was going to call you to see how you were but I knew your mum would be pampering you doing everything for you and the baby bet you didn’t change a nappy once whilst you were there. Which is totally untrue my mum helped me but it wasn’t like I dumped baby there and just let her do everything.

I feel like she’s saying I’m a spoiled brat who can’t do anything myself. She doesn’t really know me as she rarely comes round or contacts me and when we do see each other she just bangs on about times when they were well off.

I’ve no idea why she thinks I’m incapable or thinks I have other people doing things for me that I do myself but she’s really passive aggressive making me question if I am like that but I don’t think I am. My house is clean and tidy not massively over board but just normal I think but she’s making me doubt myself because it’s been so many comments.

My mum has put her straight in the past that she doesn’t do any of my cooking cleaning ironing etc for me. But she keeps making comments about it. Me and my mum are close but it’s not like she’s my servant or anything.

Anyway just feeling a bit crappy about it because I know she’ll be saying the same stuff to SIL about me who will reiterate it to my partners ex girlfriend.

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?