Help! Going mad

Not my mother in law but my in-laws! It’s my husbands brothers wife’s birthday.
Initially I came up with the idea of buying something small, as that’s what they did for my birthday. But my brother in law started getting mad planning hamper with expensive gifts and for us to contribute.

He came up with all these ideas, and told me
To find a Pandora gift.
But now he’s going even more mad telling me to find activities and places to dine in for dinner. Telling me to call up to book.

And to go to another relatives house to wrap the gifts with my two young kids before we give the gifts on another day as they won’t arrive by the weekend.

I don’t know if I am being unreasonable but feel like screaming at him?! What would you do?

He’s just basically acting like I am not doing anything

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Girl i wouldn’t do ANY of that, get the small gift you were going to get. Brother is being greedy and bossy.

Completely greedy

I wouldn't do any of his demands. They gave you a small gift so why would he/they expect an expensive gift and for you to plan/ book a dinner? He seems so entitled.

he’s saying it’s like a 3in one gift. As a thank you gift because she helped out with his other brothers wedding, and it’s also a birthday gift and also cos she changed jobs. And that because apparently she tries to help everyone and plans out others birthdays…

Furthermore I am not even working atm I’m on unpaid leave.

I’m just feeling like crap because he’s just implying I am not doing anything, when it was me who created the group and suggested we should buy a small gift & takeout/meal. And I didn’t know it was going to escalate to being so expensive! It’s just the way he’s talking to me is pissing me off even more

Is your partner letting him talk to you like that?

His wife helping with the other brother's wedding as nothing to do with you. The brother can buy the expensive Pandora gift while you plan the dinner. Also, her getting a new job deserves a "congratulations," not really a gift. IMO he's still asking for way too much.

I see that she helps everyone else and likes to plan others' birthdays, so I get wanting to do something nice for her. However, if you aren't working, it doesn't make sense for you to put yourself in a stressful financial situation just because she's nice and it's her birthday.

tbf it happened over the phone. So my husband wasn’t with me at the time.
The other bits are he’s just WhatsApp messaging me on my personal number.
But my husband doesn’t want anything to do with it as he doesn’t celebrate birthdays so thinks I just started it off

Sorry to hear that. I agree with . None of that has anything to do with you. Don’t let him talk to you any kind of way. He should be grateful you are doing something at all, especially after how he’s treating you .

yeah exactly it’s nothing to do with me. And I also helped with the wedding as much as I could but with two kids it’s limited.

It’s just really frustrating and I’m
Angry at myself because I actually called up a restaurant and tried to do a booking. I made a list of potential activities and restaurants, but also said to ask her first as she can decide. But he said for me to make a list first…. And then after I shared the list he said she wants to go to a specific restaurant 😣 just so annoying!

So now I just ignored what he wrote about going to the other sister in laws house to pack the presents. Initially he said he would and that’s why I should look for things to do….

And I totally don’t get why it needs two people to wrap the gifts!

it’s just very frustrating as it’s put out now like I’m the bad one. As his other sibling are contributing more- as it was their wedding.
But is it wrong that I am feeling upset about all this. I agree she helped out on the wedding, but I did what I could to help with two kids. Yet I am not being appreciated ( not that I was expecting any appreciation to begin with) and on top of all this my birthday was last month and no one was bothered as much.

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

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