Just out of curiosity, if a baby wakes up at night, needing you to comfort them, why would you then try and train them not to do it? Doesn’t it sound weird to train a baby not to cry out for you to soothe them ?

Some babies wake every 40 mins or so. Parents can’t function on such little sleep for so long.
I don’t think many people ‘sleep train’ babies who only wake a few times.

I guess if your baby is always over tired and cranky and so is the mum and sleep training fixes this problem that is why they do it and as rebecca said above!

What said. My baby has been sleep trained a month. If she’s hungry at night- she wakes for a feed, if she’s pooped - she wakes to be changed, if her teeth hurt - she wakes for a cuddle. Sleep trained doesn’t mean that they don’t cry out for you or they still don’t need something or soothing. Just means that when her needs are met she doesn’t need any assistance going back to sleep (pre sleep training she needed bouncing, walking, patting)

My girl used to wake every 35mins (after every sleep cycle) and would need help getting back to sleep. After sleep training she is able to put herself back to sleep. She only wakes and cry’s out if hungry or needs comfort. Sometimes it’s once in a night, sometimes 3-4 times. But when she does it is usually for something and not just needing being put back to sleep

hmm ok maybe I’m using the wrong terminology then. When I say sleep training I mean letting them cry at night without comforting them, even controlled crying like Ferber, to basically teach them that when they do cry no one is coming so they don’t bother to cry out for you.

We did controlled crying with my little girl when she was about 9/10 months(she's now 3 years), we'd tried everything else and she was still waking every hour or less. I am so glad we did it. Looking back on photos before, she is clearly exhausted, dark circles under her eyes etc. I now worry about not having done it sooner, sleep is essential for brain development, by not doing it sooner have we negatively impacted how her brain developed. I think there is a lot of needless shame around the subject, don't do it to a child that wakes infrequently for comfort, do it for a child that has an inability to join sleep cycles.

as a mum you can tell the difference between different cries. You can use your judgement on why the child is crying, and act accordingly.

ah no, just trying to understand those who choose to do it and I have never spoken to anyone who did it so I thought I’d ask it here. As I said not having an argument with those who did it, just wanted to hear why.
I’ve spoken to a sleep consultant a few months ago when we had her waking every 45 min or so and I follow a few really good ones on social media who also don’t use sleep training methods and I find their philosophy matches mine.

thank you for sharing!

I found that after I sleep trained her, when she does cry I know she needs something. It eliminates the crying for assistance to sleep but the cry for anything else remains. So just now my baby went to sleep by herself at 7pm and she started crying out at 7:20pm - I went to check on her and she’d been a bit sick and upset herself. Gave her a cuddle and then put her down. The sleep training cry was never distress in the way she cries when she needs something. During sleep training She just lay there with her eyes closed, cheek on the bed whimpering a bit, but that lasted 4 nights.

I know she needs something now when she wakes up. Whereas before I sleep trained it was taking me 40 minutes to get her to sleep then waking every hour and I literally could not function to be a good mum, wife or human. Now she goes to sleep herself happily, and if she wakes, which is usually once or twice a night, I put her on the boob for 5/10 minutes and she normally goes back to sleep. If she doesn't, I know its something else bothering her. Too hot/cold, teething etc. I can then eliminate things and find the root cause of her wakings.

oh it’s awful, that level of sleep deprivation is torture, I couldn’t function too! Just out of interest, did you try bed-sharing at all?

@Kristine Yeah we tried everrrrything. She wouldn't get into a deep sleep because always rooting for the boob. And she was rolling aswell so was dangerous and I never could sleep with her beside me I was too nervous incase she rolled off the bed or incase I hurt her.

So they can learn to self soothe.. a very important life skill.

How do you sleep train? I m just curious.. mine do wake up in between the nights and I m sleep deprived.. I have twins 7 months

my 7 month old self soothes and puts herself to sleep and has done so since 4 months. I’ve followed a soft version of the Ferber method and it’s worked wonders. Don’t need to read a book thank you when my baby is doing really well!

You can find any answers you want to find on google.