Meltdowns

My 4 and a half year old son has really bad meltdowns to the point that he is starting to damage/injure other people and property. Does anyone have any advice on how to control the meltdowns or methods to help calm down?

We’ve tried time out, time out chairs, deep breathing, angry bag (boxing bag), feelings chart ect. But it’s beginning to effect the household especially when he gets extremely violent

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Do you know the triggers of the meltdown?

Has the OT made an suggestions for you? They are usually very helpful in this category and have a list of methods and coping tactics to apply.

Hey , when you son is in a melt down are you limiting information what you are giving to him? Are you aware of his sensory needs ? What he seeks what he avoids? When a child is in a “melt down” it’s very hard to get them to do a technique such as breathing etc as they are in overload so they are unable to take any information in. With any techniques it’s good to practice when they also are calm and are not heightened. This is the time they will learn the technique before they are able to apply it

Have you tried to apply any type of pressure? I.e. bear hugs, swaddling with a blanket.
We were advised by OT to apply some type of pressure every couple of hours to help my son regulate, it helps him to not get too overstimulated. At school he gets swaddled at least once a day to help him keep calm. We also try to do it before he goes to school and when he's got home.

Folic acid is in everything that’s basically not organic and I just listened to a podcast and it said folic acid is man made and only like 50% of the population can even break it down. It said kids can act out like this if they have that in their bodies. I researched it after and it’s all true. Diet change is a HUGE deal on what can trigger meltdowns. It has to do with the nervous system or something not being able to breakdown some of these man made chemicals and it comes out in the form of this..

sometimes yes sometimes no. It’s happening alot more frequently for no reason :(

they’ve tried to make some coping mechanisms but so far none of them have worked unfortunately

yeah we are, usually when a meltdown starts we usually let him have a moment and then try to ask questions like “do you want water” sometimes he’ll respond other times he will break out and hit.

He did respond well to tapping at one stage then grew out of it. Do you have any recommendations of techniques?

we’ve tried swaddling with a blanket but he kicks it off during the night. He basically only eats fruit during the day so I don’t know if it’s his diet :(

have you tried the sleeping bag/ sock things? I think it's trial and error with alot of things.. the things that help my son now haven't always worked in the past.
Does he like the monkey bars at the park? That pressure of hanging is suppose to be soothing for them.. my son has a pull up bar at home that he hangs from when he's stressed!

Oh okay that’s good at least that it was addressed with an OT. If you haven’t already I would do a heavy metals detox, you can do the bath and obviously with his drinks/food follow the tips for a holistic detox - remove processed foods, no packaged kid snacks, no sugary juices or anything with extra dye. Also I would add in omega 3 fatty acids, zinc + copper, magnesium and vitamin b6 and theanine! We have had amazing results and adjustment in behavior and neurodivergence overstimulation alone…plus there are so many other great benefits of those vitamins anyhow. I recommend taking the magnesium before bedtime, it also helps with sleep.

have you tried a Velcro swaddle? Or does he still kick out of that?

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?