SAHM / SAHW
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@Gillian sometimes I don’t clean up the house while he’s at work and sometimes I’m just too tired to be intimate those are the main things
@Alyssa lol stop. This man sucks.
@Gillian that’s a good idea I think a big part of it is post partum and he just doesn’t understand that and on top of that I’m bipolar 1
@Alexandera especially for sex. Theres no way that's healthy
@Alexandera he’s a very sexual person and I’ve never been overly sexual due to how I was raised so I think that’s where the misunderstandings come into play
@Alyssa I agree with @Gillian try therapy. Because the fact that he's not understanding on his own that PPD and bipolar disorder(which I assume he has been aware of for quite some time now) can be overwhelming on top of adjusting to take care of a new small human, he needs someone to help him out. I suffer with neither and it's still overwhelming and I would lose all my marbles if my husband saw all that I have to do with our daughter and he complained about the house not being cleaned or having sex as much. I don't think that some men understand that a mothers sex drive can be killed by not providing even the smallest amount of help with taking care of a new baby and trying to maintain the house. We are not robots and ours homes are not museums, they'll look messy and lived in from time to time. (Apologies for the small rant😬 my SO also complains about cleaning and sex but if he's not helping with our EXTREMELY active toddler, I'm too tired and it's a turn off☺️
Um...well you need to both agree to the "duties" and who is going to be doing what. Do you have kids with this person? Have u been to therapy? A healthy third party will spot out his behavior and call it out. He needs to focus on what HIS duties are to your whole family as a husband and father and make sure you agree to them?
@Essence exactly!!
@Gillian thank you
@Gillian I have a personal therapist and she has agreed to do couples counseling as well she’s just very busy
How old is your boyfriend? You seem young
@Monét I’m 21 he is 34 I’ll be 22 in April and he will be 35 in May
@Patience the thing is he is raising someone else’s child so he does more than he needs to actually
@Patience on top of his 2 children
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No no no no no. If he had no intentions or felt you didn’t fit those guidelines to be wifey material from the jump… WHY THE FUCK HE HAVE A BABY WITH YOU LET ALONE BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU?! What is he doing with you anyway? He’s 34 you’re 21. Has he ever told you about his past relationships and why they didn’t work? Don’t get me wrong I’m not married but the sounds of it he’s already made up his mind and knows what he wants.
Do you. But don’t let anyone tell you you’re not enough!
I’m kind of offended for you. Not gonna lie
@Alyssa yeah I think that’s the issue. He got a young girl pregnant and now holding marriage over your head and making it as through you need to earn that title through housework and pleasing him. He wouldn’t try this with a woman his own age. Genuinely think he’s trash and you’d be better off tbh
@Michelle yea we have in depth convos all the time and he’s with me because we fell in love the age thing isn’t an issue
@Alexandera he thinks he’s always the initiator and he’s partially right sometimes I do need a nudge
@Monét it’s not his child
@Alyssa why do you want to marry him?
@Alyssa girlllll go and find you and establish yourself because he clearly thinks you need him.
@Alyssa if he fell in love with you he wouldn’t expect more from you
@Nicole because of his character and he makes me laugh when I’m sad also because I love him
@Alyssa All of that will still be true if you don't get married right away though. Plenty of people here are telling you to leave this man, so I'm not gonna say that. But I will tell you this, if he really felt like he was ready to be married to propose, he would. And "not enough housework/sex" are not good enough reasons not to marry someone he really wants to marry. Does that make sense?
Gross. Step 1: find a man who respects you as a person instead of a man who is looking for a bang maid
@Blair bang maid 🤭
If he had a baby with you but makes up excuses on reasons not to marry you then he don’t want to marry you and he’s still searching for his wife leave while you can sis he will never settle with you
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@Carmen I might have misread a comment but I don't think he's her baby's father
@Carmen it’s not his baby which makes it even more sus
Also your son is only 2 months old so how long have you guys been together if he it isn’t his child?
@Nicole so he reallyyyy ain’t ready for no commitment with her
@Monét we’ve been together for 8 months
@Monét I found out I was pregnant at 20 weeks after we started dating
@Alyssa 8 months 😫 babe you don't need to be talking about marriage with this man. Give it time
@Alyssa you don’t see any red flags? Not saying that no man would date a pregnant woman, but it seems like the perfect opportunity to play supportive partner and control you.
@Alyssa to be so real, leave him.
Some men want the milk without buying the cow. Has he stepped up and is he being the "perfect husband" material? Does he give/show you everything you expect from a future husband? Or is he just crippling you from being independent while taking care of him like his momma and making you think you need him and that you're not good enough? If someone really loves you, they don't need more from you to marry you.
@Haley he’s stepped up tremendously
@Alyssa booooooooo👎 your just convenient for him. No disrespect but you had to have known postin on here was gonna get you some criticism. I wish you well. Survey says yall not for each other.
Run. Idk your whole situation but that sounds manipulative.