Feeling like crap

My partner and I have been fighting so much more after my son was born. I don’t know what to do because I’m so conflicted on whether or not I should stay with him. Like I want my son to have his father but is this how it’s always going to be ? Me just bottling up my feelings and dealing with it for my little one ? What did I ever do to be stuck in this shitty position. I feel like I’m being punished

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Please pray on it, ask for clarity & guidance.

Please message me! I’d love to talk to you about it.

When my baby was 3 months old I was feeling so sad and it felt like I hit the bottom , with all hormones, stress, sleep deprivation, not enough energy and good food, feels like you are losing yourself. It felt like I’m against the whole world and with little baby on my hands. At that point only one resolution for me was divorce, some change, to get more space, more independence and respect, turn out the problem was not there where I was looking , it was much deeper and more difficult than I thought. I went into therapy, found my psychologist and now I’m happy for the most time.
Your situation might be absolutely different, but I’m just trying to encourage you to find your solution, your help. To hide your thoughts and feelings might feel like easy and quick solution, but it’s going to hurt and make life harder in the long run. 🙏🏼♥️

Let me just give y’all a good piece of advice. My daughter is now almost 5 and her father was the same way to me. I “stuck it out” because I didn’t want my child to be fatherless but at the end of the day, he didn’t respect me or love me properly and I had BEEN knew that…which it seems y’all do as well, IF it can’t be discussed and you experience changed behavior. Also make sure you’re doing your part to be a healthy partner (which I’m sure y’all are), but my situation turned into Domestic Violence since I kept making excuses for our toxic relationship for so many years. He choked me out after our daughter turned 1. Even after I had broken it off with him but still tried to have him in her life he still came back and did the same thing (abusing me and not making time for her-to be a father), now I live on the opposite side of the country from him and now realize it was never gunna change or work because he never respected or loved me or our child how he was supposed to.

My advice, stop second guessing yourself, you know what you need to do logically. Don’t act off emotion but when someone shows you who they are believe them, before it’s too late. I could’ve died both times my daughter’s Dad put his hands on me. But I kept wanting to give him yet another chance just because we had a baby together. This is how a lot of women die. Your situation may not be this dire, but reflect and find what’s best for you and your baby and if it’s being a single mom then so be it. Eventually y’all will be ok and someone will come and love you and your baby how y’all are supposed to be loved and cared for. Sending much love ladies!!

I hear you mama. I’m almost due. I continue to pray a lot as well 🤍

A newborn is such a tremendous blessing, but it also brings significant changes to your lives. I understand that adjusting to this new chapter can be challenging. It’s my hope that you both can take the time you need to adapt and understand each other’s needs. If you feel overwhelmed, couples therapy might offer valuable support and guidance. I’m not a therapist but if you ever need to vent. I’m here ☺️.

Try communicating with him. If that doesn't work then live your life to the fullest. I know it may be hard at first but I know u don't want your little one to grow up in an environment like that. ❤️

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?