I don’t feel like being affectionate toward my husband?

I’m not really sure what’s wrong with me but ever since the baby has entered our lives I have grown distant from my husband .. I get easily irritated by anything he says or does and I also just never seem to wanna kiss him and tell him I love him or anything
When I think about whether it’s because I’ve fallen out of love with him- I can safely say that, that is not the case so I don’t know what it is?
I feel an overwhelming love for my baby now and my world is just revolving around him and I’m thinking if maybe that is it?
My husband admitted to me that he loves me more than our son but I just don’t feel the same way and I feel like it’s coming out in my actions lately
He’s also not great with our baby.. he does heaps around the house and shares the load in terms of feeds etc to let me sleep but he gets easily stressed when the baby cries and doesn’t have the same calm and patience that I do and that soft / nurturing touch.. and that puts me off him too.

I know I can’t go on like this and my husband has communicated to me that he feels like he’s just getting no love and all he wants is love and this usually would seem like an easy fix but I genuinely don’t know what to do?

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I’m definitely there with you😥 I was diagnosed with PPD and whenever I started my medication for it my sex drive just died down- which of course bothered him! A lot of times I get mad at him for feeling that he is being selfish and childish because it seems as if he resents the baby for getting all the attention now. Sadly I don’t have an easy fix for you😥 just here to say I understand you and I’d love to talk if you wanted to

It's completely normal to feel this way in the first year or so cos your whole lives have changed.

You find your own rhythm of how to do things with baby and when someone else does it a different way it can be irritating cos it feels like they are doing it wrong.

You spend a lot of time being needed and touched so sometimes you don't have any left to give by the time it comes to hubby.

It is very difficult but I found it does pass. How pp are you?

im 3 months pp

Thank you ladies! I really feel guilt - I know I still love him but I have such a hard time expressing it now and I’m just always so moody but with my baby I’m always all smiles and I think like your hubby , he is starting to resent the baby cause it’s driving me away from him

Completely normal. I found it started to get better as she got closer to one cos I wasn't needed quite as much. You'll find you have good days and bad in terms of affection with each other.

I didn't really feel myself until then either.

I felt the same way. From what I understand from a lot of other moms, men most of the time just naturally don’t have that connection with the baby. In my perspective, love is a choice. There has been times where I feel love and sometimes that I have to choose to love my husband. Wishing you all of the best

I’m completely there with you and it’s crazy because my bf noticed that I am not as affectionate so he has stopped being as affectionate and in turn that made me upset. Like how do I get irritated and annoyed when he shows me affection but then feel heartbroken when he doesn’t give it to me I feel insane

in our community

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.