MIL wants to be in delivery room for 2nd child

Tell the nurses & midwives when you get to the hospital that you do not give permission for any visitors to be let in without your explicit consent!

And next time you’re at your family’s house, tell your husband to strip naked and lay spread eagle on the dining table and shit himself while he’s at it. If he says no, he has his answer!

I think this depends on the relationship you have with your MIL & if she’s being calculating trying to get it in your Husbands ear rather than bringing it up to you directly then that doesn’t sit well.

However I completely get all the views he’s saying. If I were in her position I wouldn’t expect it as such but I would be hopefully and definitely ask if I could be there. It’s not your problem as you say but I know if my sons were having children I’d definitely be hoping I could be there to see the birth of one of my grandchildren x

I love this 🤣🤣 I’ll definitely say that next time if he brings it up again hahah. It’s just crazy to think it’s a competition of what’s fair and what’s not. It’s childbirth!! I had my mum there the first time because I was scared and it’s my literal mother who has seen all my bits and pieces before, how is that remotely comparable to having someone in his family there? 😳

Absolutely not! It's different if you have a really close relationship with her and wanted her there to support you both. She just seems to want to check a box that she's seen her grandchild be born - it's not about supporting you at all.

I have a daughter and a son and I don’t expect to be asked nor would I EVER ask to be at the birth of my son’s child. That’s down to his partner to ask who she feels most comfortable with (most likely her own mum) and I would want her to be with the people she felt most comfortable with at the most vulnerable moment of her life. I don’t understand why mother in laws expect to be involved in every single aspect, especially childbirth. It’s not her son who gives birth and if it was I’m sure she’d be the first to be asked. If mother in laws took a step back, maybe they would be invited in more.

It's not a case of being present, people in the room should be there to help you. If she won't be helpful and will stress you out then absolutely not.

You need happy space for all the good birthing hormones or labour can be delayed and baby can get stressed resulting in complications xx

It’s absolutely different with your own mother! My partners grandmother said she’s turn up to the hospital anyway (and demanded she cut the cord?!😂) so we just never told his family when I went into labour. But that was only possible because my partner was in agreement with me, I wouldn’t know what to do if he didn’t! I think I’d keep saying no, and if they’re both still pestering by the time you get to the hospital, let the nurses deal with it. They’ll happily kick anyone that mum doesn’t want there x

No ways, your own mom vs your MiL is totally different 😂

I assume you invited your mum to be there for you: support for you, to advocate for you, to help you. It’s nothing to do with being there while her grandchild is born, it’s about supporting HER DAUGHTER to give birth.

Your husband does not need that kind of support during labour and delivery from his parents.

If your MIL or your husband thinks that’s unfair, well that’s life 🤷🏻‍♀️

With my first i was bleeding out and while hubby was gawking over our newborn (understandable), my mother was worried sick about me. She did not give any attention to newborn and actually had to give my hubby a clue as to what was going on. Your mother is there for YOU, not for your baby. I’m 100% positive that would not be the case with your MIL.

It's as if birthing mothers are no longer individuals with bodily autonomy and independence of mind!

A woman's birthing experience is not an opportunity to demonstrate fairness between other people!!!

I cannot believe that anyone would even ask to be present. Even my husband didn't assume I'd want him with me (even though we're as close as it's possible to be... And I needed him with me!) - he asked if I would like him there. He said he'd understand if I wanted my own Mum, instead.

I adore my Mum - and we're completely open with each other about everything - but the whole "having a baby" thing was something my husband and I embarked on together so, to me, it was our experience to share.

I discussed it with my Mum. She never dreamt she'd be asked to be at the birth! She very much shared our outlook (it being about the couple) but obviously said she'd be there, if I wanted her to be.

That's respect, all round.

It would be a hard no for me also. Thankfully my mil isn't overbearing in this way. It isn't about fairness. She should realise that early on when she had no daughters. Even with daughters who go on to have babies, it isn't a given you can watch. I chose not to have my mum there too though ended up having c section anyway. She had her own births that she was present for. It is not for any parental viewing if unwanted. Your mum was there last time to support YOU and should be there again if both you and she want her there. He is there also to support you and that's it. It isn't a form of entertainment! Ffs

Just ask your husband to take your dad to his next prostate exam.

It’s not about things being fair. What a strange thing for her to say. You’re having a baby, which you grew in your body, coming out of your vagina. How is her not getting to watch you push another human out of your nether regions unfair? Ask if you can watch her take a shit.

I don’t get the obsession with wanting to be in the delivery room 😂😂
Like I watched my sister give birth and I will never want to experience that again 😂 heck, if I could skip my own delivery process, I would 😅
Like I have a son, and pregnant with a daughter and I’m perfectly content missing out on their future children’s birth.
ITS NOT A SPECTATOR SPORT

If you want her there then fine. If not, no is a full sentence. You are the patient, you get to decide who you want there or not.

Like everyone else said, you’re the one giving birth and it’s 100% your decision who you have there to support you. No one is entitled to be there. Be firm with your husband and MIL about it, and make sure you tell the hospital staff when you get there that your MIL may try to show up but she’s not allowed in the delivery room under any circumstances!

There’s a difference, your mil would only want to be there to see the baby being born, not to support you whereas your mum is there to support you through labour. I only had my partner there but my mil basically wanted to be at the hospital and when we told her no she got jealous like well her mum will be there and then she wouldn’t even believe us when we said that my mum wouldn’t be there 🤦🏻‍♀️ I don’t get why people think they’re so entitled to shit. I wonder if she’d have let her mil in the delivery room when she had a baby🙄

I might be in the minority here, but I don't particularly want my own mum with me, let alone my MIL. I only had my husband with me when our son was born (covid so only 1 birth partner, my mum was back up in case he had covid, but that was more so I didn't have to give birth alone). I don't want anyone other than my husband there, and I have a good relationship with my mum. I like my MIL well enough but not yo have her in the room whilst I give birth. She has 2 sons, and I try to involve her in things that she wouldn't experience as a boy mum but that doesn't extend to being present when I give birth

Hell no! Your partner needs to grow some balls and tell her to YouTube it if she wants that experience. This is the most vulnerable time in a women’s life, this is your special moment (not hers) this memory will be with you forever. You do you and they will all just need to respect your choice.

That's an insane take on her part. You had your mother with you because... again... she's YOUR mother. How is this even a debate? She's there for you and for your support and for your comfort. Your mother being present when you are giving birth does not give your MIL some sort of "excuse" or "in" to be present at the next one. Childbirth is intense and can be scary and the mother is extremely vulnerable. Do what is going to make it the most comfortable for you - your MIL has no room for demands here. I swear, some of the MIL stories I read on this app are batshit crazy.