SIL wants to take my baby for a few days?

My SIL wants to take my 8 month old baby to bond with him for a few days. I’m not too fond of the idea and I said no. I just don’t get why they need to bond without me there, so I suggested that we can visit her soon or we can go out another time altogether as a way to find middle ground. Anyway my partner is angry at me because I said no and his family are probably thinking I’m being problematic. But I just don’t feel comfortable with the idea and I’m sad that I’ve hurt my partner but I just need to set boundaries. I guess everyone is so used to me saying yes all the time, when I say no it’s a problem.

Am I overreacting or wrong for saying no? How can I get my partner to understand me here?

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wtf… why does someone want to take your 8 MONTH OLD BABY away from its mother for days!?! That is absolutely absurd and I’d be telling her where to go! If anyone ever asked me that I’d go mad 😡

Maybe a date night but nothing further is what I’d be comfortable with

That’s wild she doesn’t need unsupervised bonding time. For what? It’s not her baby. No way in h*** I would allow that even if my own blood sister asked

no ur not wrong. people are so tapped in the head thinking its normal to keep a BABY for a few days away from their mum. my baby aint going no where to stay without me.. he cant even tell u if something fucked happened so no tf

Absolutely not. It would be a big no no from me 😂

That is absurd. No one with the right intentions would want to take an 8 month old from their mother. You aren’t wrong she can come over when ur there or make a day trip with all of you. Something if off with her be careful

honestly I think it’s such a weird request … I told my partner no first then his sister messaged asking again and I still said no. Why can’t they just accept that?

literally ! my family would never suggest that anyway

the only place my daughter goes without me over night is to her dads & i didn’t even let that happen until after she turned 1 (it’s a long story lol) so your not wrong in the slightest. a few hours maybe, but days?! something that your not comfortable with?! tell them all to go kick rocks !!

It’s just such a bizarre thing to ask! Especially if your child isn’t familiar with her being around in the first place. I would be weary about he being around my kid after that.

No f... way 😅

My own mother who is the closest person to my baby apart from me and my husband.. would never dream of asking that, I can’t believe how cheeky she is! If my husbands sister ever asked me that I would fall out with her big time 😅

he is making it seem like I am trying to limit his family from seeing our son which is farrrrrrr from the truth. They are just being selfish

What's wrong with people???? I mean why even ask that in a first place ??? And your husband got mad because you said no to this ??? I m shocked.

People like this exist??? If my sil asked me that I’d tell her where to stick it and never let her see my baby again! Why in the world is she expecting you to leave YOUR baby with her without you there?? And your husband got annoyed at this?? Big red flags 🚩

all she said is “okay, no worries” and I left it at that … she can be mad all she wants but she is not entitled to my baby. My relationship is on the rocks and I really think this is the last straw for us. I see how he doesn’t care about me at all and I can’t deal with it any longer

Oh no that’s really unfortunate I’m sorry to hear that babe 😣😣 maybe try couples therapy? Talking it out with a professional there would be really helpful bc at home you’d argue and bicker and if there’s someone else mediating you can get your point across properly! I hope you sort it out but ultimately it’s your decision and only you know how much you can take for your mental health 🥹 sending you prayers and love xx

yeah I’ll give him the ultimatum of couples therapy or we just go our separate ways. The fact that he can’t understand my point or even support me here tells me he doesn’t have my best interest at heart. All I want is the support of my partner… is that too much to ask?

Yeah I completely understand. Not having the support of your partner can make you resentful and nothing really fixes it unless he starts supporting you! I hope you find peace whatever you decide 🥺💓

Your partner is insanely pathetic to be angry at you. His sister can go and have her own baby if she wants to bond with one so badly! 🤯

I doubt he’s planned a surprise. I’ve just spoken with him and his reasoning is because he believes I need a break from my son cos he’s found times I’ve cried and broken down in my baby’s presence and it’s an opportunity for his sister to bond with the baby

I had a totally overbearing sister in law like that - we had to cut her off for my mental health. No matter how much I gave she wanted more. Absolutely do not let her have your young baby for days on end! If they want to think you’re problematic.. let them! The only thing problematic here is wanting to take a young baby from their mother.

It took my partner a while to see his sister for what she was but eventually he did. You need to explain to your partner how uncomfortable this makes you feel and how unnatural it is to separate a baby from their mother x

Who tf even asks that??? Take YOUR baby from their mother for a few days?? 🚩🚩🚩

Stick to your guns, I personally think it’s crazy to take any child away from their parents overnight, especially mom, before they’re potty trained. But regardless if you’re not comfortable then that’s all there is to it. Your partner needs a reality check on top of it. Being parents together means being a team. His lack of support for your comfort level with your baby is concerning

That is a bizarre request! It is a baby! Who would ask for an 8 month baby???!!!

They do realise baby isn't a toy right?

They can't just take him, like this is a human your body has grown and birthed.

Baby shouldn't be staying away from you until you're ready.

And for "days"?!!! They are crazy

Sounds like your partner needs to stop trying to people please

I guess it depends on the SIL my BD has two sisters one I would absolutely let her have taken my son at 8 months old for a few days the other couldn't watch him as I watched her lol

This is the strangest thing I’ve ever heard and a massive red flag

That is weird she doesn’t need to spend days alone with the baby to bond with the baby. It isn’t her baby.

Um, what???? No way does anyone get to take my child for a few days to bond🤣 come over and visit like a normal person.

that is the strangest out of pocket thing someone could ask you, literally wth. you’re absolutely NOT being problematic. that’s weird af

Has she ever actually looked after your baby before by herself? Or anyone else? Does she live close by? Would seem weird to offer if she’s never actually looked after your baby.

Reading one of your comments is there another reason she might have offered? Does she think you might be struggling?

So your partner believes removing baby from you for a couple of days is going to give you a break. Again is he okay??? Why doesn’t he step in to help you when you’re upset, OR do things beforehand to help - whether it’s around the house or taking baby for a walk so you can get some time to do whatever.
Honestly giving your baby away for a few days is his best idea?? Ffs 🤯

Taking a baby away from its mother to “bond” is BS.
I have had great relationships ships with nieces and nephews and that’s been built from regular visits with baby AND mum.

What? Just no! She’s welcome to have her own baby if she wants to play mummy. What a weird demand to make. She doesn’t need to bond like that with your baby.

Yeah I think that is it really but exactly… taking me away from my baby will really not help me and it will make it worse for me. I’m going away for a while to stay with my parents now we just need space

no we aren’t maybe it’s a cultural difference? But I think it is just her ignorance and not understanding the importance of the relationship of a baby and mum

If whatever type of "bonding" your SIL wants to do can't be done in your presence, it doesn't need to happen at all.

Seriously, how do grown adults manage to say stuff like that and NOT realize how creepy it sounds? I became an aunt at 13, and even at that age, I knew it sounded weird to demand alone time with someone else's baby.

My instant reaction was that it really really weird. Why would anyone need to bond with your child without you there? I actually find that quite creepy

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