Husband not prioritising the family he’s created?

It feels like my husband has no interest in being around me and our LO who is almost 5 months old
He only spends active time with our bub maybe 2 times a week and even this isn’t 1 on 1 time..
he goes to the gym 4 times a week for 2 hours each time and he refuses to go to a gym local to us or do any other form of exercise I.e something at home so he’s still around
He does have a medical condition so I get he wants be on top of his health but this seems extreme… he doesn’t eat well at all and diet is all over the place so seems counterproductive

On the weekends after going to the gym he goes off to see his mum both days - his mum is single and alone and completely dependent and so I get he needs to spend some time with her but with that and gym he’s gone for so much of the weekend

I go with him some weekends to his mums but she is so useless with the baby and no help at all and he is out running errands for her or going to the gym so I just get no break

There is no full day where we spend as a family just the 3 of us..

When I point out to him that this is an issue and he’s missing important time with his baby and family and milestones he says “it’s ok, he’s not going to remember this” and acts as if me asking him to cut down his extra curriculars is a huge ask

I don’t understand why any father would want to do this? Our child is so beautiful and happy too it makes me really sad

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

In the Bible says that he created a covenant which is God you and him with y’all’s kid. That is the family that should prioritize. If it isn’t his priority then all I can say is leave honestly. Take some self value because you need to protect your kid because your kid will either become or date what they see from the dad figure. He should be putting the gym/his mom/ work first before the family yall created together

Avatar

Sometimes men need to hear it from another person how important his role isnto baby or see an example of a dad prioritizing his family if you know any dads like that.

https://www.ted.com/talks/molly_wright_how_every_child_can_thrive_by_five?subtitle=en

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

Avatar

3

38

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Avatar

1

18

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Avatar

6

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

Avatar

4

7

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?

Avatar

6

He has no respect for anything to do with me.

Husband and I decided to separate 3 days ago. I've been sleeping on the floor in the kids room, and we both have to stay in the same apartment for a while. He wont stop pushing little things and I am reaching my limit. Photos in comments

Avatar

8

Read more on Peanut