Breastfeeding Resentment

Is anyone else struggling with feeling resentful towards their husband for his freedom while you’re breastfeeding? It seems so stupid because I very much enjoy and want to breast feed our baby. However, I find myself building up resentment towards him doing whatever he wants whenever he wants to for however long he feels like it. Again, I feel bad for even admitting it because he really is an awesome dad and spouse. He took three months of parental leave when our daughter was born, and was very helpful the first couple of months. However, once she passed the newborn stage and then he later went back to work, he’s seemed more and more checked out when it comes to taking care of our baby. I went from working full-time to now being a full-time STAHM, but I still can’t help but think that I’m working 24/7 while he is working 40 hours a week… When he leaves for a whole day on a weekend he doesn’t even give it a second thought because it’s normal for me to care for our baby by myself. I’m not sure how to tackle the feelings of resentment that I don’t have the freedom to do that, and that he doesn’t understand that “just taking time for myself” isn’t helpful since our baby still eats every 2 hours. I have to think about pumping and storing milk etc… I’m usually very good at communicating my needs, and he is literally so sweet that he would NEVER do this intentionally, so I know the conversation would end with him saying “do you forgive me?”. But somehow that’s not what I need? I feel like I just need some understanding from him not and apology. Has anyone else struggled with this?

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I actually feel the opposite where I feel “bad” because I feel like breastfeeding offers me more time with baby and I’m able to provide something my partner can’t. I think all of these feelings are completely normal. I would suggest asking your husband to help by being the primary person to clean pump parts, bag and label milk, etc. when I was pumping more, we did this and it allowed the feeding experience to feel more equitable

I truly empathize with your situation! I’ve been dedicated to exclusively breastfeeding, but balancing that with a full-time job has been quite challenging for me. The constant pumping and storing of milk can be overwhelming. My partner is incredibly supportive and works full-time at night, but I also find myself feeling a bit resentful. It’s tough to navigate these feelings!

You’re emotions are valid and you should talk to your spouse about how your feeling. Sometimes it’s good to just let it out. I worked full time and now I’m a SAHM which yes it’s hard to be feeding on demand and you have to make sure baby’s needs are met before leaving. now I wish my toddler (2year old) was on the boob and I didn’t have to figure out what he wants to eat today because it changes everyday. It’s just a phase pretty soon babies will be trying purées and the solids and etc..
so it’s okay to feel this way it’s just a phase you’ll get through it. I’m here if you need to vent

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?