Routine - especially evening

Hello mums!
(Please no harsh comments or judgement , I LOVE being a mum after struggling for 14 years with my fertility it’s a dream come true, I am fully aware it was MY choice to have my baby and what I’ve signed up for)

However I am really struggling with the evenings.

My partner works 8-5 so I am alone with my son all day, I get dinner prepared ready for my partner finishing work and we always eat between 5-5:30 PM.
I usually feed my son at the same time or 30-60 mins before , depending on how his day has gone with naps etc.
We then split the workload so one will tidy away from dinner and one runs a bath for little one, currently my son goes to bed between 7-8PM as come this time he’s very tired and aggy.

My partners only getting around 2hours an evening with our son but I’m struggling a bit because my son mostly wants me, not his dad, so I feel like it all just falls onto me & also we don’t really get any time together because of dinner / tidy / bath and then bed.

I don’t really know what I’m trying to achieve posting this but I just feel a bit lost and stuck, I know this is what I signed up for but I still feel a little over whelmed with it all.

Is there anything you could suggest I do to make the evening routines a bit easier? Should I move bath time forward I.e 4pm? I find it helps my son know it’s time to wind down for bed so I don’t know what I can do.

We just get no time as a family really, or as a couple until the weekend. I guess I just feel sad about it and feel like although we all live in the same house we’re all just like room mates 🥹 I don’t know if that makes sense and maybe I’m just being silly.

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This is our second baby but our weekdays are definitely very operational. Just get everything done and we don’t really spend time together as a couple.
The only thing I can think is to bring bedtime forward and have an earlier morning wake. But it will mean you potentially have an extra hour with your partner every evening. Your partner can do the bath and bedtime routine so he gets that time with your son. If you’re not an option (downstairs out of sight), then he will likely adjust quickly to it being dad and not you

Ummm so I can tell you what works for us. We have a very similar timing issue

My partner works 8-4:30 but doesn’t get home until 6. He will play with our son until 7. Sometimes we eat dinner which I’ll get ready for the second he gets in, so he can eat that quickly first. In that hour I can take myself off. At 7:10 ish he baths him so they continue to spend time together. Then I’ll do the bedtime bottle and settle at 7:30 whilst he sorts all the bottles/powders downstairs for the nighttime.

It’s not worth him trying to do bedtime as you say because ultimately he settles for me better, but in terms of them spending time together to give you some respite and strengthen their bond, your partner just has to do it. Even if your baby prefers you it doesn’t matter, they both have to push through to get the same bond. My partner is very animated with toys, books and singing to get his attention.

Then if everything goes to plan baby is asleep for 8 and we have the evening together

One thing that I am trying to do to ease the evening workload is to batch cook dinners. Any leftovers are frozen so I don't have to cook every night. It also helps reduce the washing up because you're only reheating dishes rather than cooking from scratch. Not a solution to everything, but might help a little!

Don’t bath everyday and you can always make bath time a daytime activity to help pass some time during a wake window.

We have a similar timing, my partner gets home about 6pm, we have tea all together around 6:30pm. We spend some time playing in the living room after tea. We then alternate bedtime each day so one of us does bedtime whilst the other does the dishes/preps the bottles for tomorrow etc. We only bath every 2/3 nights. She's usually asleep somewhere between 8 and 8:30pm, then we have a couple of hours to ourselves until we go to bed.

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

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Nursery funding

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Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?