10 month old - Hardest stage yet 😭

I’m writing this hoping that there are other mums out there who feel the same.

My little boy just turned 10 months and for the last month or so has been SO difficult. I’m starting to second guess my ability to be a mum, and that makes me incredibly sad. For as long as I can remember, all I have ever wanted is to be a Mum, but finding this stage so difficult.

I took around a year to conceive but unfortunately suffered a MMC with my first pregnancy and found this deeply hard to cope with, but luckily fell pregnant 3 cycles later with my boy now. I had a great pregnancy up until the last few months where I developed hypertension level 3 and was admitted to hospital - I was very poorly and ended up having an emergency C section so my intro to being a Mum wasn’t exactly what I was expecting.

There were a few hurdles in the early months but my boy was an easy baby really, slept well, ate well and was a very happy smiley boy. BUT, at 10 months he is just such hard work, he is constantly on the go, he never sits still or enjoys a toy without me being there for more than 2 mins, he won’t be left with anyone apart from me or my mum, he cries in the car, he whinges in his high chair, he throws everything on the floor, he pulls my hair, he bites me, scratches me, he won’t sleep without me so I don’t get free time during naps, he won’t sleep in his cot so we co-sleep… the list could go on! In reality I think these things are just typical of a baby his age, he is so nearly crawling, he’s teething and obviously has separation anxiety but I am exhausted and I constantly feel like I’m not a good enough Mum to him.

It’s worth mentioning - my husband is very career driven, he gives me little help, rarely changes nappies, doesn’t do many feeding times or milk, doesn’t do any wake ups in the night (sleeps in a separate room and has done for the last 9 months +) rarely plays with him (excuses about sitting on the floor hurting his back) rarely does bath and bed time and plays sports on the weekends. I am literally solo parenting nearly 24/7 and even so when he’s around I feel responsible for everything.

I’m worried that my sleep deprivation and just utterly drained feeling is affecting my time with my son but also leading me to feel inadequate, I love my boy dearly and wouldn’t want anything different but can’t help but feeling a little lost.

Is anyone feeling the same? I hope my boy knows how much I love him and that I’m trying so hard to give him the best life but just feel I’m failing.

Sorry for the long post but just need some reassurance or someone who can relate.

❤️

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?

He has no respect for anything to do with me.

Husband and I decided to separate 3 days ago. I've been sleeping on the floor in the kids room, and we both have to stay in the same apartment for a while. He wont stop pushing little things and I am reaching my limit. Photos in comments