Anyone have any advice on what to say to my bd? He is asking for too much from me, in my opinion..

So my bd is a loser haha like most. We broke up 2 years ago and he does literally nothing as a parent. Literally.

He wants me to bring the baby to his grandmother's house to see him twice a week but with gas and time I will only do once a week or some weeks I'm too busy and offer a video call instead. He isn't able to pick him up and won't keep him more than 1-2 hours at the most. So I'm driving and packing his baby bag and rushing to pick him back up and it takes away time from my life. So that's why I only do it if I really feel like I have time to fuck w it. Lately he hasn't even been asking as much for me to even bring him (nice for me honestly). Went from "visits" 4-6times a month to like 2 times a month and he doesn't seem to mind. The problem now is he is asking for video calls WAY too much imo.

I don't want to say no I'm not video calling and him screenshot it and then I look bad or like I'm not cooperative. But damn. It's bugging me fr. The baby is 1 and doesn't sit still and bd just talks to me (which is probably his goal anyways to check up on me and what I'm up to). It just bothers me because I don't want to see this man's face, or hear his voice, or feel like I'm giving him time that's mine 🤷‍♀️.
So we video called him on last Thursday, then Saturday since he asked and then again 2 days ago. And now he's asking again today. It's getting more frequent and more annoying. I'd like it to be once a week if anything but how do I even say this kindly and not look like a bad guy....?

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Also to add I do offer him time on weekends. I say I'll bring the baby for 3 hours on a weekend day of he wants if my week is too busy and he ALWAYS says he can't do that.
Me holding the phone for him to see his kid is just getting old fast

I would set boundaries and if he doesn’t like them he can take you to court. Which I doubt he will do because then it will be up to him to find transportation and he will have the child for more than an hour. You’re giving in too much. This has nothing to do with the child and everything to do with checking in on you and being controlling.
I would set a schedule to do FaceTime calls on days of your choosing ten min before bedtime only. 10 min is ample time to see and talk to a 1 year old. And visits every other weekend from 10-5 or whatever times fit best. If you’re comfortable with overnights that’s better.
“I am trying to keep our child on a schedule and have consistency in his life on top of the daily tasks I have to do for him on my own. I am setting a schedule of FaceTime calls this day and this day for ten minutes at this time (before bed) I’m also offering visits every other weekend at this time (or overnights). If you don’t agree with this feel free to take me to court.”

it’s 100% to talk to you. if he wanted to see his kid he’d make it happen even if you didn’t offer. when he does call, do not engage with him at all. say “this is your time to talk to your child not me, keep anything you say beyond that to your baby “oh look it’s dad!” “daddy’s talking to you look” don’t engage in conversation with him. more than likely the calls will stop coming in so frequently if at all. also set times say I can these days at this time that’s it.

Download “ Feelset” .. talk to your AI therapist! It REALLY helps if you feel alone !

Turn the volume all the way down on the phone when on FT 🤣JK.

Great advice given here. You could also say, ‘can’t talk tonight, send a video instead and we’ll do the same’. Your child doesn’t know the difference yet.

you never know my BD after I left the state and just was done he would do this shit with me. I did what I suggested to you, as was suggested to me by another single mom friend and instead of less calls he woke tf up, left his entire life behind, got a good job, and is an amazing father now and very active and supportive partner, he allows me to be a sahm and still cooks dinner every night and helps around the house. it doesn’t always end bad, but I am the minority and a lucky one our story has been wild but I attribute sticking to my guns and leaving when I did to the flip around. stick to your guns and he will either step up or he won’t but either way there will be more peace in your life❤️

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

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Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

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