Help a type B Queen optimize her day!

Mentally, I'm type A. I do so much research, make a million plans and to do lists, etc. Im the type to buy a planner, only to fill out the first page and lose interest. Then buy another planner. In reality, I'm very type B. The plans go out the window and I just sort of flow through life. I really want to figure out routines to help me stay on top of things through out the day. For example, I just gave my almost 4 month old son his nightly bath. Im running around trying to find his change of clothes, a clean wash cloth, his lotion. Then when it's time for him to get out, I realize I forgot the damn towel!! I wish that I had some kind of system to make sure his bath time stuff is all in the same place and ready for us every night.

So im looking for (EASY/BEGINNER FRIENDLY) tips and tricks to help me with morning/night routines for my baby and general household maintenance like cleaning, laundry, cooking.

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hey mama, i typically prep everything like an hour or so before my son takes his bath (because i hate rushing lol), i get his diaper and clothes set out on the bed, make sure he has a towel already in the bathroom, and all things to clean him already in the bathroom. makes life so much easier. ❤️ do it when you have some feee time! you got this!!

Have you heard of clip lists? Or even those plastic slider to-do lists would work. I love my reusable checklists for routines!

I’d say for now, ditch the to do list. Or atleast can it away where you can’t see.

Don’t start big, it can be overwhelming. Forget about doing 10 things a day type of thing. Just establish a base routine for your day to day, then whilst you’ve managed to do that for a week or 2 and it’s ingrained in your processes then start with a to do list of 1 item.

You will get there!

We got an over the toilet cabinet and shelf so I can store the towls and washcloths and lotions in the bathroomwhere I use them. I also have a baby lotion on the changing table for getting baby dressed.

Hey mamas! I hope I’m not off base by saying so but as a neurodivergent mom, it may be helpful to look into techniques for neurodivergent women. The “mentally type A but physically can’t keep up” is a very common neurodivergent thing caused by executive dysfunction. I struggle with this same thing BIG TIME so I feel you lol 🫶🏻 routines are built for neurotypical minds. Neurodivergent minds benefit more from “rhythms” and “systems” than “routines”. For example, a routine would say “every single day I do x, y, z, at this exact time in this exact order”. That created executive dysfunction in neurodivergent minds because it add unnecessary pressure and stress with no flexibility. A rhythm would be more like “after dinner, baby will do some independent play while I gather bathtime things. I have a physical list printed off in the bathroom of everything I need so I know I won’t miss anything. Once everything is together, I’ll run the bath and put baby in”

One other thing I haven't seen mentioned yet is the HomeFlow method. It's organized like a Type A brain but structured so that Type B moms can go at their own pace and have all the reminders they need without pressure.

I feel this so hard! I also love to plan and make to lists for things, but have a tough time executing them. My plan of attack is to do only a couple of the same simple things every day (no specific timing) that help me feel somewhat productive and so I stay on top of things.
Keep things boring, simple and repetitive (feed baby, feed yourself, make the bed daily, keep up with dishes, and play with your baby), then throw in a project you want to do on a day you feel up to it or have extra time.
Just remember you're already a superhero to your baby and everything else will happen when it happens. Also get your support person in on your daily plans so they can help with things too

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.