I feel like I'm shutting down

I feel like my husband is.. I don't even know what I think he is. When I met him, he was in the engineering program, worked out every day, kept a routine. Then we moved in together. He quit his program and decided to pursue firefighting/paramedic. We got married and he got fired from 3 different depts and quit fire altogether. Now he's been laid off from working maintenance for the YMCA. Tbh that alone isn't enough to make me question the relationship. But I always thought he'd make such an incredible dad. He's fun, young at heart and emotionally mature/nurturing. But our daughter is more than a year old and he still can't handle looking after her. I work alternating weekends and I feel like I can't leave him alone with her without him losing his mind. Today he was home all day while she was at daycare. And he still couldnt manage the 2 hours he had her while I was at work. I came how to an entire Costco sized bag of meatballs defrosted on the counter and my only reaction was "oh" and he completely jumped down my throat like I was some horrible monster who didn't appreciate anything he had done. "I tried my best! Ok?". At that point I said you had the entire day without her to prepare when when she'd come home. And then he really lost it. It probably wasn't the right time for me to point it out but he's been home almost a week and hes hardly actually DONE anything. He's actually prevented me from getting my own stuff done and then gotten mad at me for scrolling Instagram on my 30 minute break from my 12 hour shift, instead of turning over the laundry on HIS day off.
I'm on my period so I don't want to say something I don't mean, but after a year of this it is starting to feel more and more like I might actually mean it.

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?