Finding my 3.5 year old daughter really hard

I’m really just after reassurance as I’m getting depressed over this. Me and my daughter used to be super close. She wasn’t an only child for long as I had my son when she was only 18 months old and she adapted absolutely fine. We had a great family dynamic it was still hard of course but happy. I’ve now just had my 3rd baby who is now 6 months old. At first my 3.5 year old daughter was completely fine and she still is and adores her new baby sister (I think) but she seems to hate everything I do. If I tell her off she hates me and screams and if I’m lovely to her she also turns on me. For example today I bought her a present to show her how much I love her and a chocolate treat to go with it. Initially she was happy and after a while after playing with the new toy she started getting grumpy and upset with me. Nothing I ever do is right. I just feel like we’ve lost our bond I can’t quite describe it but she’s just becoming extremely mean. I was holding one of her toys and she just snatched it off me and said no that’s mine! I know it all sounds petty but she wasn’t like this before. She did have her tantrums but it feels like she just doesn’t like me. I feel so sad as her mummy and feel awful for admitting that I now dread seeing her because she’s actually making me feel down. How pathetic do I sound? It’s like she’s just never happy with me anymore and only wants her daddy. And she’s constantly trying to make my life difficult whereas before she used to be kinder. Is it meant to be this hard at this age? I didn’t think it was all meant to get worse. Does it get easier? I’m really down so hoping people will be sensitive to how I feel. She’s at nursery everyday but I do spend time with her at the weekend.

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My 3.5 year old doesn't have any siblings and has been mummy obsessed since birth. Apart from the last 2/3 months. It's like she is another child entirely when I am around. Everyone I've spoken to says it's a phase or that it's because I'm her safe space but it really is hard when it feels like you can't do right for doing wrong. You're not alone in feeling this way x

You do not sound pathetic at all! I would be more concerned if this wasn’t bothering a mother greatly!
I haven’t gone through this (yet), my boy is only 2, so I can’t relate but I have heard of a good few people say their children have been similar at a similar age to your girl.
I can’t imagine how hard this is for you and I really hope it gets better. Could you reach out to the health visiting team for any advice? I’m sure they have seen this so many times before!
Have nursery noticed any behaviour changes?

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