Kicked him out left his bags on the doorstep
My partner constantly chooses going out with his mates over me and our 5 month old.
He goes out a few times a month for 4 days at a time to do drugs and party. I have 3 rules. Dont come home on drugs. Dont do drugs around our child and if he goes out for the day not over night. Come back by 7pm.
Hes broken all of these rules in the past 3 weeks ive kicked him out and taken him back. He isnt a bad guy, just makes stupid choices and always puts going out with his mates first.
He has agreed not to do drugs again after he came home 2 days before he was going to a 4 day stag do. And came home with a mate on drugs and I kicked him out.
Well this weekend he went to london for the day with a mate and I asked him to be back for 7 to help with the bed time and see his son. He didnt and got back at 9pm. He then went out yesterday day with mates promised to be home by 7pm and wasnt he got back at 730 by this time I had already packed his stuff and left it on the doorstep.
Im now not sure what to do. He clearly doesnt want to be here and values his mates more than us. Im just having second thoughts about kicking him out.
Any advice welcome. Please note he isnt an addict hes a recreational user. Sorry for rambling
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it seems pretty clear to me what you should do! also, saying he isn’t an addict whilst saying he is consistently using and choosing using over you and your child - is contradictory! recreational is not consistently using for days at a time, this is unhealthy and really does sound like addiction to me. i would sit him down and explain to him that i think he has an addiction to these drugs, whichever they are, and say im willing to support recovery/rehab etc but if he is not willing then im leaving. if he is serious about his family, addiction or not, when lucid he will want to stop using and save the family. if he is not, then he isnt worth the time or energy you’re spending on him and you deserve better than that ! truthfully i would’ve done this a long time ago ! x
Addicts don’t have to be taking drugs everyday. I’d argue that he needs help if he’s going out for four days straight, but I can imagine he doesn’t want it.
Nobody can tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, but I’d stick with the ultimatum and hope that it opens his eyes x
Babe he is a drug addict. I kicked my ex out 10 days PP for being a functional alcoholic. At the end of the day all I care about is my baby, nothing else. He was more important and I wasn’t wasting my breath or energy on someone whose main focus was not the kiddo! So bye bye to him and you start living a better life! Damn you have moments that are hard but it’s so much simpler without someone treating you like dirt. You shouldn’t even be having this conversation lovely! Or these thoughts! Or having to do any of this at all! It shouldn’t even be a discussion. You’ve done the right thing don’t go back now x
I think he clearly needs a kick up the bum which this may be. I’m not saying don’t get back with him - maybe doing this will make him realise what’s important.
However knowing men I know he’s going to say I was half hour late so she kicked me out. You need to make it clear that it’s the consistent putting his son last is what caused this. He is putting himself first rather than his son.
People can change so I’m hopeful for you!
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