Ladies, make sure you have financial backup! Always have a plan
It’s not all men but it does happen!
Hi, I’m Kate. I went through a separation almost 6 months ago after being a stay at home mom for 5 years. I have a degree in biology. I tried to get a job for two years but my ex told me no. Now that we split up, I looked for jobs for months with no one responding to my emails or applications. When employers find out I haven’t worked in 5 years, they don’t call back. The jobs who will hire me, do not pay enough to cover even half of my bills or childcare. So I’m coming on here to just remind you ladies that yes, many husbands are amazing and supportive and will take the weight. And if something happens, you will still be protected. But not all husbands or partners will do that. I’m guessing most will not. So please, if you have a partner who has never been a good provider, if your relationship is rocky. Get a job. Get a remote job. Get a side gig JUST IN CASE. I’m now relying on my little hobby-turned business to make enough money to pay bills and it is a slow slow process. Everyday is stressful. Every bill is late. I should have found remote work years ago as a backup when I knew in my heart that someday I would leave. Take care of yourselves ladies. You’re already taking the load of childcare and everything else so I know it’s a lot, but if you have any doubt at all about your relationship, make sure you have a plan! Don’t be like me
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
Hear hear! 👏🏻
This is so heartbreaking but so real. Thank you so much for sharing this! I feel like this is definitely what a lot of mamas need to hear! & also would you mind sharing your hobby-turned business? I’d love to check it out If not that’s absolutely okay!
Amen to this sister!!!! Believe every word you said!
Hope things work out for you x
I'm a SAHM, and we are happily married. But that is ALWAYS in the back of my mind. I haven't worked in five years. I normally work in healthcare, but I've thought about getting even a part time "in between" job to have on my resume and maybe build a small nest egg
Trending
in our community
Alone time
Moms!!! Idk what to do. My partner swears I need more social time ( & I do ) but when I take it, it’s an argument or I can only have a hr away like is this normal being a mom??? Should I just expect no time to myself ever again???
1
3
How many of you SAHMs make your husbands' lunch everyday?
Does he get a sandwich plus 3 other items? Does he take care of himself? My husband's been so weird (back and forth) about this issue and I can't figure out if it's my problem or his.
2
19
Partner/money advice
Hi everyone,
I want to put this out there to see what other mums think and whether or not I’m being mean to have these thoughts. Last night me and my partner were talking about our finances/debts and the debt we took out whilst I was on MAT leave. The conversation ended with us re jigging how we pay things and now we’re not splitting our money (which was his idea to begin with) and he said he will start to attack our debts and that means he’s chucking more of his money into our joint debts and how that’s what he’s doing for us. Am I wrong for not feeling super grateful as the reason we’re in this debt and the reason we originally put our money together is because we agreed to have a child. It feels like he’s saying oh I’m so great to our relationship because I’m paying off more of our debts - when in reality he earns over 20k more than me a year & we took out these debts on the basis of our incomes being put together?? I don’t know I just need some other opinions on this please haha
12
Marriage advice
Hey 👋 my husband(32) and I(30) have been married for nine years with 2 kids. He is either out of town working or working from about 7am to 5pm on the days he is home. I work at a school so we get home around 330pm.
I feel like little things have afded up over the years and i am just done since nothing has changed. I have been asking my husband for years to help me around the house without asking. He does the dishes and thats about it for the most part. He is consistently making jokes and trying to play around and tickle me as if I am a sibling and I absolutely hate it. He will come up to me and hug me and try to be affectionate during the times I am occupied such as cleaning or cooking. For the past couple years about once a month after letting everything bottle up I let it out and get mad. He will tell me he is trying and he will work on it and he does that for about a week before going back to his normal self which consists of him going to work, coming home and sitting on his phone while eating dinner, taking a 45 minute shower and then scrolling on his phone or playing the xbox. It was not always like this but for the past 4 or 5 years it's been like this and I always told myself that it was okay because I was a stay at home mom but now that I am working, nothing will get done if I dont do it. I dont know what to do but I feel like I have been distant and he is noticing and now trying to be helpful and affectionate in the way I wanted years ago. I'm so confused and frustrated.
Any advice would be helpful.
3
is my husband incompetent or am i crazy?
i am a sahm that recently picked up a part time retail job to feel productive outside of my home. i work evenings after my husband is off and by the time i get home my girls (1&4) are sleep. this week i worked mon-wed evenings and i asked him today if they were bathed. he proceeds to tell me no he hasn’t bathed them all week because i didn’t ask him to. since when does your partner have to tell you to provide basic hygiene to your kids? he has before when i have worked so why is it a problem now? this is just so frustrating. i am truly so sick as a partner to him lately because of his incompetency with the most simple things. i have them all day and first thing i brush their teeth, make sure the baby has a clean diaper during the day. nobody would ever have to tell me to keep MY children sanitary. what would you do?
4
Ladies, make sure you have financial backup! Always have a plan
It’s not all men but it does happen!
Hi, I’m Kate. I went through a separation almost 6 months ago after being a stay at home mom for 5 years. I have a degree in biology. I tried to get a job for two years but my ex told me no. Now that we split up, I looked for jobs for months with no one responding to my emails or applications. When employers find out I haven’t worked in 5 years, they don’t call back. The jobs who will hire me, do not pay enough to cover even half of my bills or childcare. So I’m coming on here to just remind you ladies that yes, many husbands are amazing and supportive and will take the weight. And if something happens, you will still be protected. But not all husbands or partners will do that. I’m guessing most will not. So please, if you have a partner who has never been a good provider, if your relationship is rocky. Get a job. Get a remote job. Get a side gig JUST IN CASE. I’m now relying on my little hobby-turned business to make enough money to pay bills and it is a slow slow process. Everyday is stressful. Every bill is late. I should have found remote work years ago as a backup when I knew in my heart that someday I would leave. Take care of yourselves ladies. You’re already taking the load of childcare and everything else so I know it’s a lot, but if you have any doubt at all about your relationship, make sure you have a plan! Don’t be like me
6
7
Download the Peanut App
