I'm fed up of the grind. My partner leaves for work mega early. I sort the washing, empty the dishwasher, make the beds before breakfast and school run. Then my 8 hours at work. Partner should do the school pick up but I sneak out and do it a few times per week (partly due to wanting to and partly to let partner go the the gym).
Then kids clubs 4 days of the week. It's a lot. I know people have it worse and I'm not complaining. I am looking to make change though.
I could drop some hours or a day. I've spoken to my partner about me paying less towards the house if I earned less. That being said a small part of me is thinking of it just being my pension and salary that's impacted to make family life work and not my partner's. I already took the hit financially when I was on maternity leave twice. I'm also saving for a house as we live in his house and id like to buy as a rental with my first time buyer perks.
I'm not sure what I'm after. I guess advice on whether you feel dropping 2 hours a day or 1 day a week would be better? Any lived experience of this?
If you read this far, thank you x
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
Why did you take the financial hit for maternity leave and not both of you? How are you splitting finances currently? If you’re wanting to buy a house and get a mortgage on it with solely your earnings I wouldn’t personally be dropping hours/wage. I’d be looking at where in the week you are finding time to do something that’s just for you. What does the weekend look like for example? Does your partner make the same sacrifices to give you time to go to to gym or wherever it is you’d like to go?
The past 2 days i have felt like im going to have a full blow break down 😢
I have an 18 month old daughter who hasnt been sleeping properly the past 2 nights so ive barely slept.
All day long i feel like a bad mum as i constantly have to tell her no when shes climbing up the sofa to sit in the window or when shes throwing things at my cat or pushing her off.
The cat hasnt always been around my daughter as we had a dog and the cat would stay upstairs out the way but since we had to rehome the dog the cat is down more and she is very needy wanting me all the time but so does my daughter and im just feeling very overwhelmed
Im 20 weeks pregnant so im guessing its the hormones but I feel like im going crazy.
Im exhausted and cant keep up on housework and I struggle to take my daughter out as i dont drive and there isnt much around in the area to do.
I just want to hide in a dark room and cry
3
My husband has been ignoring me for 5 days. This isn't a new thing, but probably the longest its gone. Im usually stressed and trying to talk to make things better. But this time im just over it and honestly starting to enjoy the distance. Its making me think divorce is probably the best option- he may be even thinking the same. Im sad to think about things ending and really would hate for my matriage to end. but im also realizing how much I've been dealing with. How did yall cross the bridge and decide to finally leave?

2
3
Any tips on getting husband to help more around the house? I work 2 days and my husband works 3. I have our 3 y.o when he works and vice versa. But I spend the majority of the 3 days hes at work getting the house clean amd tidy but by the time ive finished my 2 shifts for the week its back to how it was. Im 8 months pregnant now and its getting too much for me to do 90% of everything just for it to be ignored when im at work. Ive tried to tell him before can he please tidy up especially before inviting his friend over for a beer which he does every friday afternoon while im at work. He responds really defensively and then for days he goes on about little things ive done that he missed. I tidy our daughters toys, vacuum, mop, make sure dinners ready for when he gets home and he has food for the next day, do washing, fold clothes and put them away, do the bathrooms and bins....he will load the dishwasher (sometimes), cook and hang washing out but thats it. Its so hard not to be resentful. Hes a hoarder too and just leaves paper, wrapping, crumbs etc everywhere. Help!
7
Don’t get me wrong I know my baby loves me and I do get cuddles and kisses but they aren’t often as he is very much a busy boy! But we get phases where he will say no to cuddling me but cuddle my husband and it breaks my heart and I can’t stop feeling sad about it. I know it’s normal but anyone going through this or have any insights? I then find myself fighting for his affection and I just don’t know if I’m a fun good mum sometimes
3
Can anyone tell me if I am being overly sensitive? I had my second baby six months ago and he isn’t the easiest baby. He doesn’t really sleep a lot and he is quite a big baby and drink a lot and I’m exclusively breastfeed. My family have seen how difficult he can be and they know my husband can sometimes work a lot, especially at different hours. In the six months I’ve had my baby not once have they come up to help me with both kids or if they go out and do something nice they never invite me but will invite my siblings. I don’t expect anyone to help raise my children but for example the day my baby was born the next day they went on holiday and they knew that was my due date and they booked it anyway.
4
I'm fed up of the grind. My partner leaves for work mega early. I sort the washing, empty the dishwasher, make the beds before breakfast and school run. Then my 8 hours at work. Partner should do the school pick up but I sneak out and do it a few times per week (partly due to wanting to and partly to let partner go the the gym).
Then kids clubs 4 days of the week. It's a lot. I know people have it worse and I'm not complaining. I am looking to make change though.
I could drop some hours or a day. I've spoken to my partner about me paying less towards the house if I earned less. That being said a small part of me is thinking of it just being my pension and salary that's impacted to make family life work and not my partner's. I already took the hit financially when I was on maternity leave twice. I'm also saving for a house as we live in his house and id like to buy as a rental with my first time buyer perks.
I'm not sure what I'm after. I guess advice on whether you feel dropping 2 hours a day or 1 day a week would be better? Any lived experience of this?
If you read this far, thank you x
3