MIL wants alone time with baby😬

I don’t let anyone take my baby without me! You are completely normal. My mil is the same way constantly trying to take my son places n I always say no. She even one day me n my husband were sleeping n our son was getting fussy after waking up she texted us telling us she was going to take him with her no questions asked and I got up ready to raise helllll! She did not take him to say the least. I didn’t even let anyone around my baby until he was 4 months it was only the ppl who were living in the house I wanted to wait till he was 6months but for 4 whole fucking months straight she texted us asking to see him telling us it was stupid and insane that we wouldn’t let her. Mind you she understands 0 of anything I was feeling bc as soon as her kids were born she was passing them off to any person that would take em any new boyfriend any person she barely new anyone had her kids but her.

If it was your own mum saying that, would you say / feel the same?

Also for you to find it weird is concerning, I’m sure your MIL comes from a place of love, like wanting to take her grandchild out and show him off to maybe her friends etc and get time to bond, as you bond different when alone then when parents are there.

Some of my best memories are days out alone with my grand parents i remember being 4 year old and me and my grandad went to the woods together we had jam sandwiches, drank dandylion and burdock and i rolled down the hills & i slept over and i remember heartbeat being on the television and i could barely keep my eyes open and my grandad carried me to bed 🥹 i wish I could go back to them times x

At first I felt like you did until she said it made her bring back memories of when her children were little, i also remember being a child and having such wholesome memories with my own nan / grandparents so this js their time to be the fun comforting grandparents to your child. My son is now 2.5 and adores all grandparents and it’s lovely to see them having a good bond together too x

Do you trust her? If so then I can’t see the issue? Maybe not until the child is a bit older? But if you trust her and there are no concerns with her being able to keep the child safe then I don’t understand why as it could be some wholesome memories for your child! And it might sound morbid but when she’s not here anymore would you regret not letting your child spend time with her if this was a wish of hers?

I think at 2 or 3 that would be normal. My MIL has no interest in a relationship with my children and my husband wouldn't even leave our children alone in a room with her anymore. We did once for 2 minutes when my eldest was 15 months old (me putting the dog in the car and my husband going for a wee) and honestly she failed massively because she didnt watch him and he got hurt (in her house so wasn't baby proof). She thought it was funny.

But my mum takes my son and has done day trips and over nights. She's doing the first full day and putting to bed with both this weekend (4 years old and 10 months). My mum should be no different from my husband's, in theory, but she doesnt want to know the kids, especially after her daughter gave her another grandchild she told us that one is her favourite and that we shouldn't expect any relationship from her. So....be grateful your MIL wants to love your child.

To be honest if you have a good relationship with her and you know she can take good care of your baby then why not? Personally, I haven’t left my baby overnight with my MIL or my mum without me as I usually sleep over too. However, I have left him alone with them several times when I’ve had appointments, gone shopping or needed to run errands.

I think your feelings are completely valid. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my 5 month old baby with my in laws overnight. Eventhough they are OK and I think fairly nice people. I just do not want them looking after my baby over night. In fact, I do not think I will allow my child stay over anywhere past 9pm until they are a older teenager. It is your baby at the end of the day and do not do anything you are not comfortable with. I have learned that it is important to set boundaries, if anyone is crossing a boundary for you. Make it clear and say no. I understand some people have had lovely memories with their grandparents and I have lovely memories with mine too. But not all grandparents are the same. In my opinion, you unfortunately cannot trust everyone 100%. I wish you could but you can't. I do find it weird that she is insisting on it. That raises a red flag to me as well. Do what you feel is best. If something doesn't feel right, trust your own instinct.

I trust others but like at my home whilst im out, or for local days out to the park or petting zoo but would never let them go out further afield, no matter the age! Just no need

I’d LOVE for my MIL to spend time with my kids without me. I have such great childhood memories of days/overnight stays at my grandparents house. My MIL doesn’t want to, though, and that’s ok I get it, she’s on her own and I think worries about being able to look after 2 kids alone. My parents will take my kids to the playground or out for the day when they visit us, to give us a break and to spend time with the kids. It’s great.

You feel how you feel but if you trust her, I’d certainly think about it. Cos parenting is hard and sometimes you need a break and that’s ok!

I guess what I’m saying is you’re allowed to feel how you feel so I wouldn’t say you’re being over the top, but it’s certainly not abnormal for grandparents to look after your kids ☺️

I am 100% not ready for my son to have a sleepover at my in-laws they do live 2hours away (without traffic) but they have come to ours to have him so that my husband and I could go out for a date night.

My son stays at my parents every other month so we can have a date night too. My mum also looks after my son twice a week while I work.

Fortunately my son loves spending time with his grandparents and they love spending time with him

I think it’s normal for grandparents to want to do this. To me it would be weird if they didn’t want to and my mil was never physically able to due to cancer. It’s a different relationship. My dad used to comment he’d talk to my son and make conversation and I’d automatically answer for him when the answer wasn’t important. My sons got great memories of going to London with grandad or out to lunch when my dad physically couldn’t do that anymore. My parents took my son to Spain by themselves and he’s the only grandchild that had that. I have memories of going down and visiting my grandmother in little Hampton and the other in Worthing by myself.

I leave my kids with MIL! Love a night off!

I cannot imagine leaving my baby yet but I would happily let my MIL take my older two to give me a break haha you might feel differently as time goes on x

From the way youve described it, shes not asking for alone time. Shes simply saying she looks forward to it - at some time in the future!. This is entirely different and I must say, would be completely normal for a grandparent to babysit their grandchildren for a few hours or overnight. Mine has my LO when im working and im so blessed to have my parents and my MIL babysitting so he doesnt have to go to nursery. When he is older, he will have sleepovers with no concerns

Also, babys dad has just as much right over baby as you do. How does he feel?

I feel the same way as you. I agree with your comments, a lot of it boils down to how you feel about the person. For example, I would be far more willing to leave my baby with my mil than my own mother 😂 but my mil is in another country and wouldn't be willing anyway. Even then, this certainly wouldn't be overnight. I do not understand the obsession with being alone with someone else's baby either, I just don't. When they're older and are aware and can appreciate and enjoy time spent together - by all means, go ahead, have that sleepover! But baby? Nah. I would be distressed and my baby would be distressed, I'm not putting my baby nor myself through that just to please someone else, that's madness to me. I had a wonderful relationship with my own nan, but that has nothing to do with my child's relationship with her grandparents which is absolutely fine 😂