Advice please.
I’m looking for some advice because I don’t know if I’m overthinking this or if other people would feel the same.
I’m due in December with our baby, but my partner and I have only had sex 3 times in the last 7 months. I know pregnancy can change things for couples, but it’s really started to eat away at me and has got me quite down.
It isn’t just the sex either. We hardly cuddle or kiss anymore, and I really miss feeling wanted and having that intimacy with him. He tells me he loves me a lot, and I don’t doubt that, but I was very open from the beginning that physical affection and intimacy are important to me.
I’ve spoken to him about it and even reassured him that sex isn’t going to hurt the baby, but nothing has really changed.
Another thing that bothers me is bedtime. The first thing he does when we get into bed is go straight on TikTok. He’ll say he’s tired, but then he’ll still lie there scrolling. To me, that could have been time for us to cuddle, talk or just have a bit of closeness before going to sleep. I’ve mentioned this to him multiple times as well, but again nothing has really changed.
Obviously my body has changed quite a lot during pregnancy, and I think the lack of intimacy has made me more self-conscious about it. I’m now getting to the point where I’m genuinely questioning whether I want him there when I give birth.
Birth is probably the most physically vulnerable and exposed I’m ever going to be, and when I don’t currently feel comfortable or intimate with him physically, I don’t know how I’m going to feel having him see me like that.
I’m not trying to punish him or use the birth against him. I just don’t know whether I’ll actually feel comfortable and supported with him there when there’s been so little physical closeness between us for months.
Has anyone else felt like this towards their partner during pregnancy? Would you still have your partner there for the birth, or do you think how I’m feeling is understandable?
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Hmm. Sounds like maybe hes having issues with seeing u pregnant and holding back to not hurt ur feelings.. my husband was the opposite when I was pregnant and still wanted to have sex all the time (while I was the opposite 🤣, sex was painful for me when I was preggo). I personally dont think you should take that away from him as it is his baby too but if hes already being weird about ur body changing I would NOT let him see down there while baby is crowning or coming out...but I understand how hurt you are that its making u not want him there. I would have a very candid talk with him about how you feel..but I wouldnt make any hasty decisions..
Sounds like an internet or porn addiction to me.
Something similar happened to me while I was pregnant. We went from healthy sex life to almost nothing while I was pregnant. Once I got cleared at my 6 weeks, we were back to how we were pre pregnancy. When I asked my husband after why we didn’t have sex while I was pregnant he just said i seemed uncomfortable during and pretty much that killed the mood lol
My husband was always scared to hurt the baby but this sounds more like he just isn't interested in you as a pregnant woman, i dont blame you for not wanting him there. He can stay in the waiting room your comfort comes first. My husband wont be there for our second kid to be born either for multiple reasons. One reason is w cant afford the gas for him to travel back and forth because he sadly wont be getting paternity leave yet, and another is because I dont want to stress about things at home. The first time I gave birth he lied and said he had a "work trip" and went and cheated on me a couple states away. And I didnt find out until his friend accidentally told me a couple months ago. I knew it and accused him when it first happened but had no proof so I ended up dropping it. It had already been 2 and a half years when I found out. It broke my heart all over again. Therefore this is his punishment, I cant trust him to not do it again so he will be staying home where i can track his location.
Could be that his mental health is suffering?
Could be overwhelmed from the pregnancy or something else entirely but have you thought that maybe it's not actually you?
Me and my partner have a healthy sex life even currently at 37 weeks pregnant but we went through a dry spell and I tried talking to him thinking it was me and I was super insecure etc and he kept denying it, not much changed, we'd have sex once and it would go back to how it was.
Then he got drunk one night with his buddies and everything poured out when he got home.
Nothing to do with me physically but I had been neglecting him mentally by not seeing the signs.
Once that conversation opened up after he sobered up, we've been great again since.
Due to have our baby next week and can't come soon enough cause I need my body back 😅🤣
Just a different perspective
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Ipswich, Is he cheating?
Hi,
I don't know if I am over worried or not. Here the fact:
My husband works near Ipswich since August, and I am in London with our children .
We have been using condoms since July as I gave birth. 5 condoms disappeared but I thought he brought them for a trip we did (we did not use them), but I never saw them again. Then 6 weeks later another condom disappeared (yes I am a psycho, I am counting our condoms 🫣). It is weird, but I was okay, it can still be explained!
This weekend he brought his bed sheets back for wash. I smelt a perfume that I don't know, it seems for me a woman perfume but I don't have a good nose. He has 4 pillow cases, it is really strong on one and it is not the one he using (his pillow case always have blood stains on them). I can smell it on the bed sheets as well but it is stronger on the pillow case.
What do you think? How can I discover if he really is cheating or not? He told me that he is not cheating on me, but I know that he can use language at his advantage at times (like he is not cheating right now but might have had).
I don't want to accuse him without strong proof.
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Advice please.
I’m looking for some advice because I don’t know if I’m overthinking this or if other people would feel the same.
I’m due in December with our baby, but my partner and I have only had sex 3 times in the last 7 months. I know pregnancy can change things for couples, but it’s really started to eat away at me and has got me quite down.
It isn’t just the sex either. We hardly cuddle or kiss anymore, and I really miss feeling wanted and having that intimacy with him. He tells me he loves me a lot, and I don’t doubt that, but I was very open from the beginning that physical affection and intimacy are important to me.
I’ve spoken to him about it and even reassured him that sex isn’t going to hurt the baby, but nothing has really changed.
Another thing that bothers me is bedtime. The first thing he does when we get into bed is go straight on TikTok. He’ll say he’s tired, but then he’ll still lie there scrolling. To me, that could have been time for us to cuddle, talk or just have a bit of closeness before going to sleep. I’ve mentioned this to him multiple times as well, but again nothing has really changed.
Obviously my body has changed quite a lot during pregnancy, and I think the lack of intimacy has made me more self-conscious about it. I’m now getting to the point where I’m genuinely questioning whether I want him there when I give birth.
Birth is probably the most physically vulnerable and exposed I’m ever going to be, and when I don’t currently feel comfortable or intimate with him physically, I don’t know how I’m going to feel having him see me like that.
I’m not trying to punish him or use the birth against him. I just don’t know whether I’ll actually feel comfortable and supported with him there when there’s been so little physical closeness between us for months.
Has anyone else felt like this towards their partner during pregnancy? Would you still have your partner there for the birth, or do you think how I’m feeling is understandable?
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Unfortunately most of my friends still use. Most of my friends aren’t parents.
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